Well, mother@#$%ers, I've been going through a hell of a couple years. Shit has been rough. So rough, in fact that I've had the same reaction that all other yuppie swine have when they unceremoniously burn out : I did a 180 and got into yoga, meditation, and went even further with my radical unprocessed-foods strict vegetarian diet. And I started to listen to music while I did this stuff that, frankly, I would have laughed at as a teenager. Mellow, vaguely xenophilic chillout music like Kitaro, Michael Hedges, Alex DeGrassi, Deep Forest, Hammock, Mark Isham, and all that shit that came out on the ECM label in the 80s. I even started digging Pat Metheny, who I used to call a thrip and a sellout.
I mean, fundamentally, this is what used to be called "New Age" music. Have I turned into a @#$%ing yoga, meditation, crystals, brown-rice-cake-eating, permed-hair, New Age music listening @#$%ing 80s caricature?
Pretty much, except for the crystals and perm. And I gotta say, this shit seems to be really helping, so I @#$%ing guess ANYTHING's on the table huh?
So it turns out the below poster has this duo calling themselves "Neo-age desert music" that plays ish that is mellow and relaxing, but ALSO interesting to listen to when you come out of your healing trance, the latter characteristic being sort of rare. Baja Snake is the name of this act, and the tunes they put out makes me feel like I'm in the mother@#$%ing wilds of the Sonoran desert or the badlands of Egypt or some shit.
SO if your mother @#$%ing chakras need to be realigned, peep this shit out.
OK, so like most people, I came to 'outside' music via Coltrane's later stuff, which is kind of the gateway drug to unconventional playing and free spiritual music. Not too long after this, I was getting into punk and protopunk and found out about Sun Ra / John Gilmore and Albert Ayler via MC5 / Stooges / Velvets. I worked through the 'new thing' era and especially fell in love with Anthony Braxton, who though not known as an improvisor will definitely surprise a MF with some clever note choices. Incidentally, his 2003 Standards Quartet sets with guitar furnace Kevin O'Neil are a must-have :
[youtube]4FLQCoIkYxc[/youtube]
Then I got the Sonic Youth "Dirty" tape when it came out because of its awesome video, and that kind of snowballed into a consuming interest in exploratory not-really-jazz-derived outside stuff.
As I explored the progression of New York music, I found out about DNA, Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, and James Chance, and realized that there was kind of an unbroken line from John Cage through Velvets through DNA through Glenn Branca through Sonic Youth through Live Skull through Wu-Tang
I discovered Boredoms while watching an MTV News clip about the first Lollapalooza, and the five seconds they showed of the group made me into a fanatic. Working through the Boredoms catalog, I discovered Painkiller, which then led me to John Zorn.
John Zorn.
The term "visionary" is thrown around a lot with regard to musicians, and oftentimes it's accurate. Zorn, however, has the 72mm panoramic Technicolor view of reality. I can't think of any post-Copland composer whose breadth and depth of field is so immense and who is simultaneously capable of meticulous, enveloping theme pieces like "Kristallnacht" and careening comets of surprise like "COBRA"
Zorn turned my whole musical conception inside out like a frightened sea cucumber. Also, through Zorn, I discovered Marc Ribot and Bill Frisell, both of whom molded the way I think about gutiar (but especially Ribot with his "aesthetics of poverty").
I could keep yammering about him and his sprawling, monumental artistic edifice, but here's a clip to take some words out of my mouth. "COBRA" was the first Zorn work I heard after Painkiller, and remains one of my very favorites.
*n.b., Zorn knows how to pick some players!
[youtube]yp-oZbmsQVw[/youtube]
I found the Shaggs backward too, via Shonen Knife and Melt Banana. Japan produced a lot of really good outside / cacophonous music -- Masonna, Solmania, Keiji Haino, The Gerogerigegege, et al
[youtube]yN9UT2zF8c8[/youtube]
Then, in a 1994 or '95 issue of GP, I read a brief blurb about Henry Kaiser and, without any real information to speak of other than a photo of him smirking into the camera bestrewn with instrument cords and holding his clown-vomit Strat, I knew viscerally that this was a cat I could vibe with. The article mentioned his Madagascar record (with the sickeningly wonderful D. Lindley), so I got that first and LOVED it -- followed close behind by the first French Frith Kaiser Thompson record and "Devil in the Drain." What I find staggering about Kaiser's playing and direction is that he seems to come at every phrase from a completely blank, fresh point -- very few canned licks, even on his mellower spacey stuff. Pure creativity. Kaiser plays what Howard Roberts called "Music at the speed of thought."
Here's an absolute *gem* of a recent performance -- it's TGP favorite and notorious hippie, new-age, mumbo-jumbo expert S. Kimock being supported *quite* sympathetically by Kaiser and non other than BERNIE MOTHER @#$%ING WORRELL
[youtube]s5frtFL4QaY[/youtube]
^ this is just about *thee perfect* mix for me -- just the right amount of inside mixed with outside, everybody listening CLOSE and making a real cohesive musical thing occur, this ish is *happening* yo.
One thing I particularly like about this one is that the drummer keeps grooving while playing interesting stuff, in kind of an Elvin Jones bag. Though I love free playing, I also love a good groove, and when they're combined (read : drummer not going off on some ish only tenuously connected to the beat), that's my ultra pleased zone.
I actually didn't like Derek Bailey the first time I heard him, because the firth thing of his I got was his drum 'n' bass record, which is just not well-executed. But once I found his true solo stuff, it all made sense. Bailey's music is generally the antithesis of groove, it's more like listening to the sounds from various nebulae as you zoom by at warp speed in your rocketship.
Bonus : here's a good example of what I mean by Wu-Tang as being in this tradition, in this classic of small-"m" minimalism:
Well, it is a weeping and a moaning and a gnashing of teeth Well, it is a weeping and a moaning and a gnashing of teeth When it comes to reality, which is dire as can be Believe! Believe!
OK! Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree
OK! Drop a couple bucks, have a milkshake 'Cept it's venom, not milk, that's a milksnake You gotta set it down, take a milk break But it's too late, that's a milk fate! Say hey, say hey, don't we do this every day-ay? You worked all day, all night to get a payday Now, you're finally paid, so we can take it away-ay [And people still buy in!] Haha, so blind they need a straight cane! Now they watchin' TV, yeah, they UFCing Distract with politics and products so appealing Get-get-get-get getting drunk watching porn and eating We gave 'em false dreams They flocked right to their beatings
OK! Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree
It's crime time, hammer back, desperation, yo This failed plan, the wrong dream, I'm Willie Loman, yo I'm bill-dodgin', deadbeat man, take pills often, yo And often booze, anesthetized 'til my coffin All I want is some food money , alI need is some brood money I get my check, I give it back, I'm left with none, that's nude money Check the neck, check the wrist, those slits oozing that crimson tint My angst crush like Neitzche, Teutonic existentialist Oppressor deference Hypocrite like Jefferson Expectations dictate my path, so my hopes are irrelevant, WHOO! Combine's fuckin' got me It know where I go, wherever I go, I know it's caught me
OK! Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree
Well, it is a weeping and a mourning and a gnashing of teeth in each and every house And who no have teeth gwan rub pon them gums cause When it comes to reality, which is dire as can be The bugle has blown fi many times, and it still have one more time left Cause the amount of strife we've wrought 'pon the world
Let the suicide guards up Encourage suicides on the campus Encourage suicides in the middle class Encourage violence like the night of glass I slip up in your mind, that's some sneaky shit If you're doing something cool, I'm'a make you quit It's a disgrace how I make so much waste, how I Befoul what I touch, take profits in haste, how I Love to oppress, and those acts get no press, kid Plus, I debase all things that you hold precious Talkin' 'bout Mary, bought into my values Now see, her soul is worn through like some old shoes Now, everybody is losing they damn screws Now the whole world move in lockstep to my rules People self-abuse just to feel included Your reasoning warped and your insight occluded!
I'm caught up in the hate ways Precipitating bloodrain I'm dumb and blind at the same time, drinking palm wine with the Combine Acquire things in a cash rage Consume all in a rampage Acquisition defines my world, consequences are downplayed Name one, delay one Disagree and be shamed, son Snack box full of fracked rocks, co-signed : "corporation!" Horsepower, horsepower Four horsemen got horse power Pestilence coming to the thousands, caustic rain, poison showers Rain : pourin' All my factories foreign For me, foresight is foreign Help you cross the Jordan!
OK! Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree
Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree Consuming without mercy, the Combine it so thirsty Working on you day and night, ideas from the hurt tree (8,344)
NOTE: The images and media in this video are presented under fair use for educational purposes, all rights reserved by the original owners.
This wont be part of the Cost of Care Series, simply because it would make the title too long. It is in a similar vein though, probably some repeat material as I didn't bother to read why I already posted. Here is the Transcript:
(Pic: O'Rourke quote) In the previous video we talked about how the United States doesn't have a free market in Healthcare, and alluded to why the prices are so high. I spoke mostly about Medicare and Medicaid and mentioned that over half of all healthcare dollars are actually managed and spent directly by the government. (Pic: Tea party) When people compare our system to a "socialized" system, what they are forgetting is that our system is greater than 50% socialized already.
(Graph: Healthcare Vs GDP) Here is a graph of healthcare expenditures as a percentage of GDP. In 2011, >18% of the total productivity of the United States was devoted to healthcare. In pure dollar terms, the numbers are even more dramatic, even adjusted for inflation. The United States government alone spends more per capita than any other government in the world on healthcare, and that only covers medicare and medicaid patients. (Graph: Per Capita Vs Others) With public and private insurers combined, we spend more per-capita than any other country, and our per-capita spending is 50% higher than the runner-up. We now have an idea of the scope.
(Graph: Obesity Rate)There are many other contributing factors for the rise in medical care. People are demanding more care due to poor lifestyle choice. The obesity rate is now at 40%. In addition, people have more disposable income than they used to have, and the quality of healthcare as well as availability is better. It makes sense that they would want to spend it on something to help their quality of life and to attempt to live longer.
(Graph: Tort Costs) In addition, the cost of dealing with medical malpractice have risen dramatically. Though these costs are still only a small part, there's also the matter of increased spending on tests due to doctors being more and more worried about getting sued, which is extremely difficult to quantify. (Graph: Trial Lawyer Donations) Making things worse, trial lawyers donate more money to congressional elections than the entire healthcare industry, making reform in this area impossible.
(Pic: Colonoscopy) People are also demanding more and more preventative medicine, which costs far more than it saves. In addition, the demand for elective procedures is rising as they become safer and doctors start recommending them more. (Pic: Cialis ad) That's not to mention the demand for expensive new prescription drugs both by doctors and patients which often provide little benefit over cheaper existing medications, or are for conditions that are not medically vital. This is, of course, perfectly fine, however in other industries consumption usually rises as prices fall, often corresponding with less share of personal income being spent on the product.
(Graph: Meat Consumption)For instance, You can see from this graph that people have been eating more meat over time. (Graph: Disposable income Vs Food) However over time, people have been spending less of their disposable income on food. (Graph: What Work buys) In fact, take a look at this graph which shows how many hours of work the average American would have to put in to earn common consumer goods. (Pic: black) Why is it that healthcare doesn't follow this trend? Quality may be rising, but costs are rising even faster.
(Pic: black)In this video, I'll talk about a problem that bares even greater responsibility than the the elephants in the room run by Uncle Sam and all the aforementioned factors. This is something totally ignored by politicians but most economists say it is central or even the most important reason costs are rising.
(Pic: Third Party Payer big) Of course I'm talking about 3rd party payer, and why government is to blame for the astronomical cost of medical care.
Third party payer refers to the practice of health insurance companies taking your money and using it to pay your medical bills for you. Insurance is supposed to pay for things that are unlikely to happen. Health insurance by contrast, has come to mean reimbursement for just about anything health related. On the face of it, this doesn't really make sense. Here's John Stossel's take on 3rd Party Payer
[Stossel Clip]
(Pic: 3rd party payer cartoon1)No one would want to purchase car insurance that pays for regular maintenance on your car like oil changes and new tires. This adds a large transaction cost to everything bought and paid for using the service, but that's only a small part of it. Clearly your insurance premiums would never add up to more than you could hope to get reimbursed for. (Pic: Car Fire)Any insurance company that reimbursed more than uncollected would go out of business. You would have to slice your tires every day on the way home from work and buy the best tires in the store to replace them just to get your moneys worth. Unfortunately, people treat health insurance differently than other insurance, but there is a reason for this.
(Pic: Cartoon: 3rd party payer2) As ridiculous as it is to have a middleman on common things that everyone buys like regular checkups and screening tests, there's an even bigger problem. Since you're paying a flat fee for all the services and drugs you could ever want, there's no incentive to shop around or to use them in moderation. This allows incredibly inefficient institutions to exist in spite of their high prices, as well as inflated prices on drugs, hospital stays, and doctor visits. Here is Nobel Prize winning economist, Milton Friedman, on the subject.
[Friedman Clip]
(Pic: Middleman cartoon)It's clear that health insurance is a great thing to have in case of serious injury or illness, or a chronic or terminal disease that is expensive to treat, but having a middleman setting up an "all you can spend" health buffet is not something that makes economic sense. As with common practices that don't make economic sense, the origins of this are squarely rooted in government policy.
(Pic: Tax Seq1)For decades, taxes have been rising on the wages of employed Americans. The average personal income tax rate on median family income was(Pic: Tax Seq2) 7.4% in 1955 and had (Pic: Tax Seq3)risen to 12.2% by 2010. On top of that, you add in Social Security and medicare taxes, which were at (Pic: Tax Seq4) 4% in 1955, and had risen to (Pic: Tax Seq5) 13.3% by 2010. It should be noted also that the maximum taxable income of Social Security and Medicare taxes is rising as well.
I only point out these taxes to make one observation: The total average American family's wages have increased in taxation from roughly (Pic: Tax Seq6) 11% in 1955 to (Pic: Tax Seq7)25% today, (Pic: Tax Seq8) and that's just on the federal level. At the same time, compensation by employers in the form of healthcare has been (Pic: Tax Seq9) totally untaxed. Again: 11% taxes in 1955, 25% today, and all the while employer-provided health insurance has been taxed at zero. The results of this tax policy are as one might expect, but before we get into that, how about a little history?
(Pic: FDR Cartoon) Employer provided health insurance is said to have arisen because of the wage and price controls of WWII. Employers wanted to pay their employees more but FDR's misguided war-time technocrats were trying to micromanage the economy. Therefore, their only option was to find other ways of reimbursement besides wages. Health insurance as a form of reimbursement was taxed much less than other wages until 1954 when all remaining taxes on the practice were removed. It was only natural therefore that employers and employees follow the incentives right into this arrangement. (Graph: Rise of Insurance 1940-60) Between 1940 an 1960, the number of insured went up 7 fold.
By 1965, a little less than 75% of the population had some form of health insurance, and that number was rising rapidly. (Pic: 1960's Insurance) However, even with this rapid rise in the insured, it was rare that anyone be insured for care not involving surgery or hospitalization. For patients seeking treatment in an outpatient doctor's office or wanting a yearly checkup, it was traditional to pay out of pocket. Medicare Part B, passed in 1965, helped changed this trend, but the economic reasons for the insurance companies to adopt this are obvious.
(Pic: HealthCareDollarsAt Work)Because of these government policies, health insurance has changed from actual insurance to a way for employers and employees to subvert the tax code. This leads to modern "insurance" covering much more than insurance ever should. Regular checkups, preventative medicine, elective procedures, and chronic medications are all covered by the majority of todays plans.
(Graph: Rise of 3rd party payer) Now let's take a look at the rise of 3rd party payer and the fall of patients directly paying for their own medical care. In 1960, roughly 47% of all dollars spent on health care were paid out of pocket, by 2008, that number was down to 12%. The rest is paid for by government and private insurance companies.
(Graph: Healthcare Vs GDP) Take a look at the graph of Healthcare Vs GDP once again. These costs are rising far too astronomically to be accounted for by other factors. There is something fundamentally wrong with the incentive structure of this industry. Also, it seems to be inexplicably immune to recession, unlike other industries. This is the typical pattern of government intervention. Given that these things are true, what do you think the effect of Obama's 2010 healthcare reform will be?
[20/20 clip]
(pic: black) Essentially, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act of 2010 AKA Obamacare will force the market to increase coverage and therefore will increase costs. It's said by some economists that there's a critical mass for healthcare spending. If that's true, we're certainly moving in that direction a lot faster.
(Pic: serenity) The good news is, there's a simple and elegant solution to solve this issue in an orderly and decisive way. Government could start to once again tax employer-provided health insurance. Alternatively and in my opinion, preferably, the government could (Pic: abolish IRS) abolish the income tax altogether. This would eliminate the incentive for employer provided healthcare, and over time the practice would be eliminated. As that is happening, people will realize that high deductible insurance is actually much cheaper. Removal of other government intervention could further lower costs, like state insurance regulations that reduce competition. (Pic:Medicare Monster) It would also be beneficial to eliminate Medicare's "discriminatory pricing" policy whereby if a doctor sees someone for free or less than they charge medicare in his/her office, they can be subject to a raid by the federal government as well as fines and imprisonment. Essentially, the further government gets away from healthcare, the more affordable and accessible it will become.
(Graph: Government Spending Vs 3pp) Unfortunately the largest 3rd party payer is government. Though prices will come down dramatically if government stops manipulating the private sector via the tax code, (Pic: Old Lady Sequence) the problem of government being such a large payer will likely still remain. Obviously raising co-pays and instituting a deductible into Medicare and Medicaid would help, but these solutions are so politically impossible it gives one a headache to even contemplate. In fact, Americans are so addicted to Medicare that even the accusation of mentioning cuts in medicare is considered a devastating attack in political campaigns. With elderly voters flocking to the candidate who promises to continue this unsustainable system, it will likely be the sacred cow of the US government for years to come, even with our impending fiscal issues.
(Chart: Negative Income Tax) I would also like to mention at this time Milton Friedman's elegant solution to the problem of entitlement spending: Instead of offering food stamps and healthcare, Friedman and most other economists suggest a "negative income tax" whereby the government just writes an impoverished individual a check for an amount to bring their income up to an acceptable level. They could then use the money at their discretion, and make decisions that are best for them, rather than what the government deems appropriate.
(Pic:MLK sequence) Under a truly free market system, customers would purchase health insurance like they do life insurance: When they are very young, for their whole lives, and at very low premiums. Just like with Life Insurance, they could keep their plans when they switched jobs, moved from State to state, or developed a chronic or debilitating disease. Perhaps insurance could be purchased even before birth. It sounds far fetched, but with a high deductible plan and the prices of healthcare actually coming down instead of rising, this is not only feasible, but likely.
Please note that even though this article is directed at Mac Pro owners, much of this info can be used for PC owners too.
Apple has always had an interesting way of constructing personal computers/workstations. Sacrificing function for form is somehow lauded by their users, even in their super expensive/overpriced "Professional" line. This is usually followed by complaints about their lack of 3rd party options, difficulty upgrading, and then finally the existence of irony.
One example of this is that even though the 1,000 watt PSU in the Mac Pro is perfectly capable of running a modern GPU or Two, in an effort to make the inside of the computer "pretty", they have routed PCIe GPU power through tracers on the motherboard. The limitations of this are the same damn reasons they put ancillary power supply inputs on video cards in the first place, but Apple likes to Think Different. For some daring people who have attempted to run "too much" current through these ports, the results have been disastrous (TL;DR: *KABLOOEY*, there went 3,000 bucks).
For this reason, people like myself who don't want to have their computer stuck in 2010 or "on fire" have decided to add a second power supply. Unfortunately, again Apple makes life difficult by making a 2nd internal PSU like this one a pain to install (although some have managed to do it by modifying their case via tin snips [Great read!]).
The way I have done it (twice now) is by using a standard ATX PC power supply and piggy-backing it on to my mac's power supply. Basically the principle is this: 1) Mac Pro's power turns on 2) Power goes from Mac Pro into a Relay switch 3) relay switch turns secondary power supply on 4) power supply runs current to video card 5) I play Borderlands 2 for 3 days straight and my girlfriend leaves me.
Simple, right?
Disclaimer
Though doing the procedure outlined here correctly is assumed to be be safe (assuming the components you use are not faulty), neither myself nor Latewire.com are not responsible for any damage sustained to equipment during the execution of this tutorial. This is provided for informational purposes only. Proper precautions for protection of equipment from damage and persons from bodily harm are left to the reader to enact, and in no way shall Latewire.com nor the author of this article be held at fault for use of this information for any purpose. Latewire.com and myself do not recommend doing anything on this page under any circumstances ever.
Ingredients
The stuff to make this fantabulous contrapulation will vary based on what you have lying around and how versatile/convenient/cheap you want your end product to be. Before you get started, read this whole thing, sit down with a piece of paper, and figure out from start to finish what you need and how you're going to do it. I'm not wiping your butt for you, these are just some ideas.
1. A Relay
A relay is a little switch that activates when you apply electricity. This dingus will be activated by your Mac Pro's power supply and then subsequently activate the 2nd power supply. I found this one at my local radio shack and it works just fine.
2. A power supply
There are several buying guides online for how to purchase a power supply. You can get a pretty decent one for around $50 on NewEgg. I purchased this 500 watt fancy thing for $45 and paid $6 for NewEgg's 1 year Warrantee. It has blue lights and they make me happy.
3. Wire
18 gauge: You need 4-5 inches of 18 gauge at the very least for this project (maybe a lot more.. keep reading). I like to use 2 conductor speaker wire (2 copper wires stuck together with insulation). If you need to extend your 6 pin cables (you may be able to get by without it), do so with 18 gauge wire -- you may use 24 feet of 2-conductor wire to extend your two 6-pin cables just 4 feet (double that if you are using 1 conductor wire).
You will definitely need at least 4-8 feet of 20 gauge wire x 2 (either by 2 pole or just buy twice as much) to trigger your relay.
4. 6 / 8 pin extension cable(s)
I modified my own extension cables to length because I'm an epic badass, but provided you don't want to spend all day soldering wire after wire (and believe, me: you don't), I'd recommend at least one 16" 6 or 8 pin extension cable. You definitely want at least 14 inches long--that'll work for every video card you can buy. This one looks very nice and will work with any configuration (6 pin or 8 pin). I think I would get 1 for each port just for some extra power (so for a card with two 6 pin ports or one 6 pin + one 8 pin, get 2 of these adapters).
Keep in mind that if you modify your extension cable, you're going to need a heck of a lot more wire (use 18 gauge for this).
This extension cable is necessary to get power into the case from the 2nd power supply. However, 16" is going to be barely enough to just go from outside the case to the card itself. If you want your power supply under the desk, you may need to buy TWO sets of extension cables and modify one set to be several feet long. Alternatively you can modify your PSU's 6 pin cables to be longer. I have done it both ways, they both work. Food for thought.
5. Adapters to get 12v power from internal PSU to external
You're going to need a 12 volt source from your internal PSU, and adapters to run the power to the relay.
Take a look inside your case and see if you have 4 pin Molex (found in PCs and earlier generation Mac Pros) OR SATA power plugs (later generation Mac Pros). If you have 4 pin molex, PLEASE use that for your 12 volt source. It will save you SOO Much headache.
For 4 pin molex people (PCs and Older Mac Pros i.e. 2006):
Something like the above should work okay (one example). You see the ground and 12 volt line is already separated so you can take it from there. Also, it has a pass-through for your 4 pin molex so you can put it in-line with your drive. However you will need to extend the cable quite a bit. For a modern Mac Pro (Older = easier), you'll need at least 4 feet of wire (recommend 20 gauge as it will be easier to string it through) to get from the 5.25" drive bay outside the case. If you like, you can stop there, but I'd recommend reading the optional portion below to make your setup easier to work with.
For SATA power people (Newer Macs):
You need an adapter to go from SATA power to something you can solder on. I used this adapter and modified it to have a 12v line and ground going out of the case (actually I have a whole 4 pin molex coming out, but that's extraneous). For a modern Mac Pro (Older = easier), you'll need at least 4 feet of wire (recommend 20 gauge as it will be easier to string it through) to get from the 5.25" drive bay outside the case. If you like, you can stop there, but I'd recommend reading the optional portion below to make your setup easier to work with.
**OPTIONAL BUT HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR BOTH SATA/4 PIN POWER**:
Really you can use any plug imaginable (as long as it's 2 pole) to hook the relay to the internal PSU, but this "3 pin fan" plug moves nicely through the Mac Pro case as well as being cheap. I'd recommend buying something with a female "3 pin fan" plug so you can detach the PSUs from each other more easily (modular is better!). The linked part will work with those using the SATA adapter or a molex adapter mentioned above. Later in this article I will likely just assume you've done this. If you have a Mac Pro and you do NOT do this, you will have to string the wires through your case before you solder them. At least this way you can forego that headache.
6. Solder, Soldering iron, Shrink tube (for 18 gauge wire), knowledge of how to solder, wire strippers (18 and maybe 20 gauge), wire cutters
You're going to be "adapting" a few things. On a side note, these simple tools and even rudimentary knowledge of how to use them will save you boatloads of money in the future when fixing broken wires and such. Imagine having your vacuum cleaner power cord gets eaten by your pet wildebeest and you have to lug the thing to a freaking repair shop and pay $50 for them to spend 5 minutes and $2 on fixing it. This really is a life skill like changing a tire or flossing that it helps to not need to pay someone else to do it.
So in short, if you you think you're about to close this page at this point saying "WAA THIS IS TOO HARD, WHO CAN I PAY TO BUY THE NICHE PARTS I NEED; DO NOT WISH TO LEARN TO SOLDER", then think again.
7. A video card requiring power and a computer unable to power it
Oh details, details.
8. OPTIONAL: A multimeter
This is a versatile battery-operated device that is really going to make your life better
STAGE 1: THE RELAY
Step 1: Test the relay
If you're using the radio shack relay I recommended above, you do this by connecting a 12 volt DC source (yellow wire) and a ground (black wire) to the "coil" leads (see above pinout or read your relay's schematic… the coil leads are the ones with the little coil-looking thing). It makes NO difference which is PLUS and MINUS. Essentially, it's foolproof. The 12 volt lead in computer cases is yellow, except when it's red (for those using red/black 3 pin plugs, red = 12 Volt). You'll be quick to notice that you'll be hooking 4 wires to this thing yet there are 5 pins. The "extra" pin is will "close" circuit when voltage is released. Thus if you use this pin, your project will be on when the computer is off, and off when the computer is on (the opposite if what you want).
Please test the relay with and without power to see if it's working as expected. I'd also recommend a multimeter set on the "COND" (conductive) setting. If you don't have a multimeter, you're going to have to put the leads in series with a case fan circuit or a light bulb or something be creative (or just buy a freaking multimeter you cheap bastard). If you connect it to a light bulb at 110 volts, keep in mind you can die if you touch the hot leads. 12 volt is safe as long as you don't put it in your mouth or connect it to your pacemaker/insulin pump/electric penis pump. You know what? If you don't know what you're doing just leave this site before you sue me.
Testing the relay will ensure that it works, and also verify you know which leads to use.
Step 2: Solder the Relay
I soldered the coil leads first. Again, these coil leads are going to go to your 12 volt source. For these, I wanted a 4-5 foot long 20 gauge 2-conductor wire (I used 18 because I had some). I soldered that 4' length of wire to the 3-pin female plug mentioned in "ingredients". Polarity doesn't matter folks! Remember to put some shrink tube on there so you can heat it later to cover the exposed leads.
The 2nd set of leads is a bit more tricky. You're going to want to solder your other 2 wires to the two leads on the relay that are OPEN (off) without power going to the coil, and CLOSED (on) when power is applied. These leads MUST be 18 gauge wire for the next step.
After that you're going to attach the relay to the 16/20 pin motheboard cable. Tin (coat in a light layer of solder) the other end of the switched leads and shove one them into the GREEN plug and the other into the neighboring BLACK plug. You will likely need to use pliers for this. If you're having trouble, make sure your wire/tinning is nice and smooth. Alternatively, you could solder in those leads directly into the green and black wires. This will likely void your warranty, however, and using the way I describe seems to be very secure with good contact. (I was going to wrap the thing in duct tape, but it's just fine dangling there).
On the other end of your coil wires/leads, cut off the 3 pin plug from your 3 pin "extender" -- use the end that will fit into the end you plan to solder onto your 12 volt line coming off the internal PSU (Female). Remember that on the 3 pin connector, the RED wire is 12 volt, black is still ground, yellow is worthless, cut it off. I don't care if you use female or male or if you're not even using the 3 pin plug at all, just make sure it plugs into the plug that's connected to the 12volts/ground leads coming off your computer's internal PSU, and that both pins make contact.
Alternatively, you can solder these leads directly onto a 12 volt/ground leads from the internal PSU and skip the need for plug, but that would be incredibly annoying to "unplug" when packing up to move out of your parents' basement.
STAGE 2: THE 12V SOURCE
"In the course of human events it becomes necessary to disassociate yourself with the ties that bind" - Mojo Nixon, quoting somebody else
Never in my life have I been as infuriated as I have been working ways around Apple's engineered non-scalability. Step 1: Tap That Lead
FOR SATA USERS (Newer Mac Pro):
I'm just going to assume you bought this extender I mentioned in the "ingredients" section. Long story short the reason you want this is because Apple, in an effort to make life "easier", has made it harder. If you look in your case like I told you to, you'll see what I'm talking about.
You only need to solder the yellow lead and one of the black leads to your wires. If you're using 20 gauge wire, don't use the pictured method of joining 2 pieces of wire with a 3rd--just solder them all together or use a small 18 gauge segment for that. I'm sure 20 gauge will do enough amps for a single optical drive and the relay but let's have some Obsessive Compulsive standards people! If you're doing this in a Mac Pro, you need FOUR FEET of wire to get it outside of the case. That's 48 inches, 121.92 centimeters, 0.63 toise. Got it? You'll notice that I did all 4 leads so I could have an external Molex outside my computer. This is totally optional and you probably don't want to do that. I do it because I'm crazy. If you're just going to have the relay hooked up, use 20 gauge wire because you don't need the amps of 18 gauge and it'll be easier to string through the case. If you're going to do it my way, use 18 gauge for greater justice.
Remember, if you're going to attach anything but the '3 pin' plug to the other end (such as the relay directly or 4 pin molex), to do it AFTER you string the wires OUTSIDE the case (see step below). If you attempt to pull a 4 pin molex through the Mac Pro case, I will mock and ridicule you until my face starts hurting and I lose my voice. The 3 pin plug seems to have no problems being fished through the tight crevices of Apple's "different" design.
FOR 4 PIN MOLEX USERS:
I didn't do this so I didn't have pictures. Simply take the red and black leads coming off the adapter here, cut them, and extend them 4 FEET. I'd recommend reattaching the 3 pin "male" plug on the end, as I mentioned before. Use 20 gauge wire for this.
Step 2: String the wire
Routing the cable is the fun part. I did it differently in my setup as you can see from the pictures, but there's no need. Just run the 4 feet of wire you added in the above step through the notch in the plate in the top of the case, route it around the plate and through the hole in floor separating the 5.25" area and the HD/PCIe area. If you have an allen wrench suitable to the task, you can unbolt the plate and it may make it easier.
Once in the PCIe/hard drive area, string it over your PCIe Cards and out of an unused PCIe port. Don't have one? I have several methods of "adapting" existing PCIe cards to allow extra cables to leave the case (Scroll down).
How I did it (the silly way)
Don't ask me why, but I love having access to Molex connectors outside my case. I was booted off a hard drive sitting on top of my computer for about 2 years (it had a nice little fan on it). This is totally unnecessary and I wouldn't recommend it. If you're wondering how I fit the cable through the holes, I shoved each wire through the cheese-grater one at a time and then stripped and soldered them once they were on the other side. If I wanted to remove this, I would have to cut the cable.
STAGE 3: THE PCIe POWER CABLE (nightmare?)
If you have an open PCIe slot, simply remove the placeholder bevel and shove the wires through the open hole. If not, you've got some sacrificing to do.
You've basically got to choose one of your other PCIe cards to "modify" the fancy bevel on so you can run the wires. It'll also depend on which cards have warrantees left to void, how much of a pain in the ass it'll be, and so on. Look at your cards carefully, try and figure out the best way with minimal effort.
Method 1: Lucky with the vent design (4870)
I got lucky with the 4870. I just took some wire cutters and my popeye spinach strength and cut off a small section of the vent. Put the wires in that notch and put the plugs outside of the case (through the PCIe slot opening in the rear) before securing the card in place. Works great if you can do it this way!
By the way, ignore the 4pin molex to 6-pin adapter I used… I had an old PSU.
Method 2: Not-so-lucky with the vent design (6870)
This one was not so easy. I had to unscrew the bevel from the card before clipping it with my superman strength. There's probably a way of doing this than dulling my neighbor's borrowed dikes.
By the way, ignore the 4pin molex to 6-pin adapter I used… I had an old PSU.
Method 3: Attack it with a Dremel (my current setup)
Like most limbs and sensory organs, most of the PCIe bevel is unnecessary. All you need is enough to structurally keep the card in place. These things are often made of really hard metal and so completely over-rated for the task of keeping wires from jiggling the card loose or keeping the card in the slot.
I chose to carve up my RocketRAID 2314 card's bevel. I unscrewed it, carved out a chunk, and put it back into place. Notice I keep the line straight from the end that goes to the motherboard all the way over, instead of carving a notch like in the 4870's bevel. This is a matter of preference, but it helps me when I'm putting the card into place. Also make sure when you do this that you don't do it in a way that will make it not fit into the case anymore (in other words, if you're an idiot: DO NOT ATTEMPT). I kept the square tab at the bottom totally in tact, for instance. I also left the part where it screws into the case in tact, with a little piece left on the superior edge for stability. Use common sense, pick another method, or don't do it at all--at any rate, don't blame me if you mess up!
STAGE 4: VICTORY
Hopefully you found this helpful. I can't believe how much time I put into this ridiculous project. Below is a video of the latest incarnation of these methods.
So I saw Swans last night at a packed Crescent Ballroom. Holy cow. I don't think I've ever experienced a music performance that made me feel like I was in the middle of a hurricane, but last night I was being thrashed about by howling winds and pummeled in the stinging rain as deafening thunder pounded unrelenting.
Their appearance as they stepped on stage was amusing -- it was five typical aging NYC beatniks in black buttondown shirts and one big hirsute Viking who looked like he'd just been unfrozen from an ice floe.
Gira's voice sounded fantastically great (sounds like Jim Morrison in a live context, funnily enough), and the two drummer / percussionists were bringing the meteorological phenomena like nobody's business. The lap steel player kept things real creepy.
And, of course, they were LOUD and played for 2 hours at least. I had earplugs in and my ears were still ringing this morning.
These guys have some sweet gear : Gira was playing a well-worn Gibson Lucille through an Orange Rockerverb 100 and the other guitarist used a butterscotch Esquire through a JCM800 stack. The bassist also used an Orange amp, and played some P-ish bass that I couldn't identify. The lap steel player had two mounted on a keyboard stand with bungee cords, and both were plugged in to a dual-Twin setup, but he only played one -- I assume that the other was there for sympathetic ringing or something.
The 2nd percussionist / multi-instrumentalist -- the viking -- had the sweetest gear of all : an actual set of tubular orchestra bells! I've never seen those things on a pop stage before, but they *definitely* make a big contribution to the sound. He also had a xylophone.
Both percussionists exhibited superhuman endurance, Olympian power, and perfect timing. They were the best part of the show by far.
Apparently Gira does not like being videoed in performance, but neither the venue nor the band announced that, so roughly every other song we'd be treated to a comical scene of Gira pantomiming, mid-song, his desire for phone-holders to cease and desist.
An amazing show, and one that definitely deserves to be called 'epic' in the literal sense.
Beware! Kvetching below:
The opener, billed as Xiu Xiu but in fact a solo act of the main guy from that band, was not in my estimation a very good fit for this show. I think, and this is saying a lot, that "Xiu Xiu"'s performance was the least enjoyable national-level touring performance I've ever seen, in any genre. Not only did the act have roughly zero groove (which is at least 75% of what a live Swans show is about), but with the *very* spare instrumentation (just voice accompanied by autoharp, guitar, or synth along occasional theremin stabs and a constant looped drone), it really felt like being subjected to interminable, self-indulgent whining over grating instrumental monotony and was not cool. It was exhausting to endure, but I didn't want to leave and give up my sweet post about 8 feet from the stage. I say all this as an ardent fan of Suicide, Sunn0))), Masonna / Space Machine, Sonic Youth, AxCx, and other semi-annoying bands who skate the fine line between self-absorbed-yet-entertaining-art-statement and audience torture. Save for three superfans in the front row who inexplicably pumped their fists and undulated to this spectacle, the crowd was not very into it. (28,936)
So my Highpoint Rocketraid 2314 has been inexplicably been supported since I bought it in 2009. I am not a huge fan of the card but it does have fantastic error reporting (emails you when there's an error). Unfortunately, recently I started experiencing problems with Readahead, Write Cache, and NCQ. These are common problems with sata controllers, but luckily I can just go into the Webgui and disable them.
Unfortunately for me once again, I have 10 hard drives hooked up to my little card and the settings to turn all that crap off reset every time I restart my computer!
Since the WebGUI is nightmarishly slow, this is colossal pain in the ass.
Therefore, until I can figure out why the settings aren't sticking, I created a hack of the webgui to automate the "disable all features" process. I've also modified the page to expand all the hard drives info at once... and I'm not changing it back.
Also, I've modified the page to execute the form into an iframe rather than reloading. This makes the process faster but takes away your ability to see all the changes without manually reloading the page. .
The CGI cannot be modified, so this hack is entirely done by javascript. Also, this was made for webgui 1.6.8
here are the XSL files. The webgui is located in /usr/share/highpoint/webguiroot. You should probably back up those files first, in case you don't like the changes
This was tested in Firefox.
If you did it right, it should look like this (see the "disable all features" thing up there?):
Rituals, the local Pho band that opened, was boggling great once again. I've said it before, but I'm telling you : if you like epic doom, you have just got to listen to these cats. Their instrumental melodies and dread-inducing rhythms create a chokingly thick atmosphere. Rituals is carrying the torch for doom metal in Phoenix and they are going to be a household name in the near future (assuming yours is the type of household that listens to stiflingly ponderous corporocerebral doom plodding while a haze wafts in the darkened room and a black goat looms maliciously). Dig them now or count it forever in your litany of regrets.
Taurus was pretty fantastic. Stevie Floyd is a genius, and it was very cool to hear her do some clean singing -- she's got a really nice voice! This band is *totally* different than Dark Castle -- whereas D.C. is more like midtempo math-doom, Taurus is ambient atmospheric music, not really groove-based for the most part. The drummer Ashley Spungin had these great red Lucite drums and was outstanding in her showmanship and orchestral approach to playing. A very emotionally charged performance.
As for Agalloch, oh my G_d. I didn't expect such tightness and masterful showmanship from a band that rarely tours. The musical performance was flawless, and the show included a fair number of very un-black-metal 70s-style rock tropes that I didn't expect (leather pants, rock poses, etc).
Haughm brought out three big stumps, on which he placed incense bowls after lighting incense very theatrically. He even had this horn full of incense that he used. In addition to that, he took out of his gig bag what appeared to be two taxidermied deer fore-legs complete with hooves and placed them on the stump in front of him. It was hella grody as I was standing less than 2 feet away from the stage and I was like "Geez man, I thought you guys were vegan!"
Anyway, the performance was just unbelievably great. They tore through a brilliantly-chosen set with passion and precision. I was particularly stoked to hear "Ghosts of Midwinter Falls," which is my favorite tune of theirs, and "Kneel to the Cross," which is the first tune I ever heard them do.
They put a tremendous amount of energy and feeling into these performances, and I was really happy to see the full Haughm / Anderson / Walton / Dekker lineup present (since I've heard they live quite far from each other and there'd been speculation that not all would tour). Aesop Dekker is quite a bit older than the rest of them and is an absolute BEEZT on the drums. Also a hella nice guy. Anderson was highly animated, doing numerous entertaining rock moves with his guitar -- he's clearly a 70s / 80s metal fan. His command of the guitar is amazing, and the nuance in his picking technique impressive.
Oh one more thing : at the end of the show, Agalloch did the typical "rock band feedback freakout." At the end of it, Haughm was alone on stage and he started playing his guitar with the deer leg! Grooooosss
This was probably one of the top 5 shows I've ever seen. Easily the equal of last year's staggering YOB / Dark Castle show.
---- Gear rundown for hopeless nerds :
John Haughm : Three (count 'em, THREE) Travis Bean guitars Orange Rockerverb 100 Fender Twin Reverb Hella lot of pedals, including Moogerfooger, Rat, DD3, looper, Boss Heavy Metal, Space something, EB volume, several more
Don Anderson : Les Paul Custom (tri-burst, probably a GC '68 reissue) SG Standard (naturalburst) Marshall half-stack, modern, looked like a JCM2000 style Hella pedals
Jason Walton Alembic 5-string Epic bass Sunn 2000S half-stack
Anderson's Les Paul sounded absolutely incredible. So did Haughm's Bean guitars, but Anderson's fine touch was really brought out by the clarity of this Les Paul.
The Rockerverb 100 sounded wonderful, especially in bi-amp with the Twin. Very articulate sound. (38,908)
Just got back from the last-ever Abigail Williams show. Bittersweet -- a moving and deep performance by this brilliant atmospheric blackish metal band, sad to see them hang it up. There are only a handful of metal bands that can really transport you to damp scary places with their music, and Abigail Williams is one of them.
The bassist they had filling in on this tour was most excellent -- huge tone and a fine showman. Ken Sorceron rasped his heart out and got phantasmic tones out of his guitar. The drummer pounded with lethal precision and sounded gigantic with his well-tuned tom-toms. All ov them super nice fellas.
The opener, Sovereign, was a special unexpected treat -- these guys absolutely TORE IT UP with a set of old-school Norwegian-style black metal, and their drummer is a swirling octopus of necro beast beats. They were all decked out in corpsepaint and sleeveless shirts, and looked QUITE grim indeed, glowering from the stage, rocking the snot out of the crowd, and then stalking out through the side door without saying a word.
It's funny to go to black metal shows these days. The audience is about 60% 'standard' black metal fans (longhairs with worn black clothing, some spikes), 30% emo kids (thick glasses, caps, irony, beardy) and 10% chicks that look like they got ostracized from the high school goth clique. (37,494)
You ever look forward to something so much that it stays in the back of your mind all day, giving you a little added spring in your step? You come home from a hard days work, knowing this surprise is waiting for you, and maybe you think "oh, I'll see this tomorrow when I have more time to bask in its awesomeness".
Now I realize that this is just a computer, and I knew it was going to be made of parts that are already on the market and that I knew the best case scenario, but it used to be different with Apple. I remember when the Dual processor 800mg G4 Powermacs came out with the NVidia 6800 GPU option -- which wasn't even available for PC! It blew everyone out of the water; what a fantastic machine.
Really I was more pragmatic about this long-awaited update... and by long awaited I mean over 666 fucking days. I've already bought a new computer and had no intention of buying a new Mac Pro. However this update could still benefit Mac Pro owners wishing to upgrade. When Apple upgrades their machines with new video cards that means driver support expands and we can purchase aftermarket upgrades. This is good, considering the best official video card, the 5870, was released for PC in September 2009.
NVidia kind of hinted at possible driver support for the 570/580 when they released drivers recently for the cards. Though this did not have the necessary firmware to run without a backup card in the Mac Pro (unless you're okay with not being able to do a system recovery), it was only a firmware update away from being a candidate for inclusion into the "Apple Certified" club, which affords benefits such as Apple not killing the card with every software update.
So yes, I was still a little anxious to see what Apple was going to allow us to purchase at inflated prices this year. However, when I woke up like a little kid on Christmas day and ran to see the new toys, I was greeted with the sight of Tim Cook prancing naked around the burning ashes of my tree, hurling handfuls of his own feces at myself and all the other little boys and girls.
Yeah, this update was a little disappointing.
What they did upgrade: They upgraded the processors to ones released in March of 2010. That's right, 2 years old... They reduced the price a little, though the base model is still ridiculously overpriced. They also included $50 more RAM. Thanks Apple!
What they didn't upgrade: The GPU, the case, the USB (were you aware 3.0 is out, Mr Cook?), thunderbolt
On thunderbolt: It is probably upsetting for some that thunderbolt didn't get added, but that's probably the last thing on any reasonable person's list. Apple stuffed the viscous grape thunderbolt Kool-Aid down their users throats like they were geese slated for Foie Gras. I would say Thunderbolt is overrated but I can't seem to think by whom. Even many die-hard Apple fanboys are saying things like "Wait, so I get the same connectivity, but have to buy a shit-ton of expensive adapters to get there? I'd love to blow you, Tim, but I can't find your dick."
Getting back to the point, I really do feel bad for those who waited to upgrade only to have a big glob of Tim's smelly green feces lobbed at their faces, but never fear! David Pogue just wrote a column saying that the updates are coming! THE UPDATES ARE COMING!
As further evidence, someone named Franz emailed "Tim Cook" and received this response:
Quote:
Franz,
Thanks for your email. Our Pro customers like you are really important to us. Although we didn't have a chance to talk about a new Mac Pro at today's event, don't worry as we're working on something really great for later next year. We also updated the current model today.
We've been continuing to update Final Cut Pro X with revolutionary pro features like industry leading multi-cam support and we just updated Aperture with incredible new image adjustment features.
We also announced a MacBook Pro with a Retina Display that is a great solution for many pros.
Tim
Well fucking great. "No updates for now, but check out our outdated video editing software we keep butchering each update and BUY MY LAPTOP *BLUDGEON*!"
Really I'm not that emotionally invested anymore. I tried to troll the Mac forums trying to find unstable fanboys to tip into a rage-filled tirade to get them banned for profanity, but it looks like every single person there beat me to it. Nobody is excited to consume Apple's kindergartener macaroni art this year. While Apple may have some okay products in the portable markets, their professional line becomes more and more of a joke every year. This is just the latest incarnation of the "because Fuck You, that's why" attitude Apple gives to professionals, lending credence to rumors Apple may get rid of it entirely. (45,644)
It was early November, and food was getting scarce in the woods on the north side of the mountain, where old man Willard lived in a one-room cabin with his three hounds Uno, Rico, and Lucky Tam. All four of them were getting very thin and the nights were biting cold.
The old man was tired on a night when the moon hung like a glowing fingernail above the treetops. All the same, he put on his boots and threadbare coat, picked up his big 12-gauge shotgun, and headed out into the darkness with the hounds in search of something to feed himself and his canine family.
After trudging through the damp forest for an hour, he saw a flash of movement high in a tree to his right. In one fluid motion, he turned his head, discerned the unhappy late-waking squirrel on the branch, shouldered his gun, and fired. The rodent tumbled from the tree along with some branches cut loose by the shot.
The dogs collected the pockmarked dead squirrel and the man took it home, where he skinned it and put pretty much all of it in a pot to boil with some stale water and dried herbs. He shared the stew with his dogs, and they all gulped dowen the meat ravenously.
That meager meal served only to whet their appetites, and soon their stomachs growled for more. The hounds began to whimper, and the man felt compelled to get up and go back out. They had to find some more food.
He walked and walked, over mushy loam and slippery logs, and his breath soon began to freeze against the pulled-up collar of his coat, for the night was very cold indeed. He heard the distant sounds of tree branches cracking in the frost like gunshots.
Suddenly, he glimpsed something bright and yellow -- not the moon -- over his left shoulder. He spotted the outline of something about the size of a big raccoon silhouetted up in an old birch tree whose bark was gray and peeling. A good sized 'coon, thought the old man, will keep us going for probably a coupla days. As he raised the shotgun, the silhouette moved its head, and he was momentarily transfixed by a pair of glowing yellow eyes like nickels made of lightning. He snapped back into his wits, aimed, and pulled the trigger just as the shape began frantically clambering down the tree. BOOM! went the gun, and the animal vanished screaming into the night as the dogs barked.
The old man lowered his gun forlornly. He cursed himself for being distracted by the big yellow eyes instead of taking a good shot when he had one. He walked over to the tree to see if it looked like he'd hit the thing. And it did! There was a lot of thick fresh blood on the trunk of the tree, and he could see big spots of it glistening on the leaves below. Maybe the 'coon didn't get far and I'll find it around here and finish it off, he thought to himself. Then we'll have a big stew and be able to get some sleep.
Then something on the ground caught his eye. Something under the tree, what was it? The man walked over and looked. He saw a large tail, thick as a rattlesnake and covered with heavy brown fur. It was speckled with blood. Well I'll be, said the man to himself, and picked it up. It weighed a good two or three pounds and was about the length of his belt.
He walked around the nearby bushes to see if the animal had fallen there, but it hadn't. They followed the trail of blood until it led him to a brook that burbled down the mountainside, and the trail was gone. Well, thought the man, at least I got a piece of it. He walked back home with the tail in his hand as wisps of cloud traversed the moon overhead. "Second dinner coming up, boys!" he grinned to the hounds when they returned home, and their tails wagged. The man made a stew from the tail, and after eating it hungrily, he and his hounds finally felt satisfied and could go to sleep.
Sometime in the hours between midnight and dawn, the man was wrenched from deep slumber by a stinging pain in his foot. He shot upright in bed, his eyes bleary and terrified. He bacame aware of a vile skunklike stench that filled the room and a dark lumpy shape. As his eyes resolved their sight, he saw it : a big brown creature with a sharp face, thick fur, and yellow eyes the size of nickels, perched horribly on the foot of his bed, its leathery long-clawed feet gripping. Thin, needle-like teeth hung crazily from its wet, slavering mouth in a smile like a sick dog. Its ears stood up on its head and twitched as if to shoo a fly that wasn't there.
The thing's front foot was still on the old man's bedsheet, the dirty claw stuck through where it had just now been pawing at his toes. A few spots of blood began to spread from underneath the sheet. The man gasped in terror but was frozen, he could not, dared not, move.
The thing's unblinking eyes burned into his for what seemed like minutes. Then the thing licked its disgusting black lips and hopped down onto the man's bed. The man felt the weight of the beast as it landed, a heavy repulsive weight. He felt like his body was made of broken glass, his bones replaced by pure fear.
The thing sneered at him as it inched closer. Then it spoke. It spoke in the most unpleasant, hissing, rasping voice the man had ever heard, and it filled his entire head as the words crawled from the thing's foul mouth.
"Tailypo."
The man remained frozen in fright. Again it spoke :
The man screamed, finally. His three hounds woke with a start and began barking loudly. The thing on the bed hissed a hideous hiss, its heavy fur standing on end, making it look even bigger than it was. The stump where its tail had been was scabbed and filthy. "Uno! Rico! Lucky! Sic 'em!" the man howled, and the three big dogs jumped toward the intruder, growling and snapping. The creature scrambled down from the bed and raced around the room with incredible speed, looking for a way out as the dogs viciously pursued it. The man stood atop his bed and didn't dare try to cross the room to where his gun hung next to the stove.
Finding no exit, the beast shreiked again and jumped back on the bed, zooming under the man's legs to leap massively through the window behind the headboard. The glass shattered and the wood splintered against the weight of the animal. Uno, Rico, and Lucky Tam followed close behind and ran out into the night after the thing.
The man was still reeling from shock, but he got down from his bed and limped over to where his gun was, loading it with all the shells it would take. The hounds will get that cursed thing, he thought, but just in case. He washed his foot where the claw had punctured it, and poured some liquor over it in an attempt to disinfect the wound. He wrapped a gauze bandage around it, put on his coat, and hobbled over to the chair to sit down with his weapon and wait for dawn. He had been very tired, but now the fear kept him awake.
He waited and waited. Dawn broke and the hounds still had not returned. The old man put his boots on and walked haltingly around in the forest, gun ready and looking for the dogs, but there was no sign of them. He made his way back to the cabin, looking out also for any food that might appear, but he saw none. He knew he'd be very hungry again today.
The old man sat back down in his chair and waited for a long time. When the sun was halfway down in the sky and clouds in the West turned orange, Lucky Tam and Rico came running back to the cabin. He opened the door and they entered, scraggly and whimpering. He hugged them and gave them water. "Where's Uno?" he asked. The hounds wheezed and whined. That thing got Uno, the old man thought to himself as hot tears welled in his eyes. It'll be back, he thought, I know that somehow, and I'll be waiting for it. Give it what I should have given it last night in the woods.
He nailed some boards over his broken window to keep out the cold, and made sure that his other window was secure. He checked the locks on his door and closed the fireplace flue. That thing's not getting in here without me seeing it tonight, he said to himself.
He boiled some water to make coffee and, once he had a pot of the strong black brew, sat back down in the chair with his gun to await the return of the repugnant animal. He thought about having a drink of liquor to calm his nerves and numb the heartbreak of losing Uno, but he decided against it -- need to be in fighting alert for when it comes back, he figured.
But the man was truly exhausted. He'd slept only a couple of hours the night before after a long day and night of trudging through the woods. And he was getting so old. He kept himself awake with the coffee, and he talked to his hounds to pass the time. Told them that together, they would get that vile thing. The night wore on and the moon passed by the remaining window. So tired. So tired. He drank more coffee and paced around the room. Still, the fatigue consumed him, making his eyes droop and his legs feel like jelly.
It was late, very late. He had to sit down. He sat, and he could feel sleep overtaking him. His head nodded, he snapped it back. Again and again he nodded off and instantly reawoke. I've got to hold out until morning, he thought, I've just got to.
He nodded. He woke. When his eyes opened, he saw the thing. It was standing on top of his bed. Underneath its yellow eyes was a fiendish grin. It smelled so bad that the old man could scarcely keep from vomiting, much worse than last time. As he gagged and fumbled with his shotgun, the beast rasped hashly:
"Tailypo, tailypo! GIVE BACK MY TAILYPO!"
The old man finally got a grip on his gun, swivelled it into position, and fired at the beast from less than five feet away. The animal shrilled a painful screech. Rico and Lucky, who had also dozed off, erupted into a din of barking and turned to see the creature, who should have been blown to bits by the blast, turn nimbly and bound out the gaping hole in the boarded-up window that had just been created by the old man's shotgun.
The two dogs gave chase. OK, thought the old man, I'm pretty sure I hit it, it can't get far. Rico and Lucky will tear it to pieces. He looked at the bed where the tailypo had been standing and saw a few drops of blood. Good, he thought. Can't believe I didn't blow it away, but at least it got a little something. How in blazes did it get in here? The hounds'll get it for sure.
After the adrenaline subsided, the old man nodded off to sleep again. When he awoke, it was at least noon and he was being nosed by Lucky. "Lucky," he said groggily, "did you get that darn thing?"
He saw that Lucky's tawny fur was streaked with blood.
"Lucky! Where's Rico? Where's Rico?" A terrible dread crept down the old man's frail back.
Lucky laid down on the floor and looked up at the old man with an awful look in his eyes.
"Oh no, no!" cried the old man, breaking into sobs as he fell to his knees. Rico had been his favorite, his faithful companion for many years. He could hardly bear this.
Lucky tried to comfort the man. "Did you... did you get that thing? Get it for good?" asked the man when he was able to choke back some of the tears.
But Lucky just laid there and grieved.
"I'm going to get that thing if it's the last thing I do!" bellowed the old man, suddenly filled with wrath. He stuck his knife in his belt, took his gun, and said "Come on, Lucky. You know what we have to do."
They searched and searched through the woods, finding no trace. Maybe Lucky didn't want to find it, thought the man. It began to grow dark, and he knew they had to return to the cabin. When they got back, he hastily nailed up some more boards over the blown-out window. He sat back in the chair.
I've had some sleep, he thought, so I should be able to stay awake until that thing comes back. And I'll be ready to finish it off. He checked to be sure that his gun was fully loaded, and he waited.
And waited. He waited until the first fingers of blue morning light slithered through the trees. But the beast did not come. It didn't come.
When morning had fully broken, the man stood up and said, "Well, Lucky, I guess you really did get that monster. Good job, boy. Now let's go get something to eat!"
He limped out with Lucky, and they hunted. They had good luck, catching several rabbits and finding some roots that were still edible even though the ground was hard with frost. They returned home and cooked up a delicious stew that was heartily enjoyed, but they were both very sad about Uno and especially Rico.
The sun went down and the weary old man and his one dog laid down on the bed and drifted into much-needed slumber.
They both woke up shivering in the dark. The man sat up in bed. He saw that the door was wide open. He grabbed the gun which he'd left at his bedside just in case. He looked around, scared nearly out of his wits. "Hello?" he called. Did I forget to lock the door? he wondered. "Hello? Who's there?" He pointed his gun around, peering frightfully into the darkness. He listened intently for any sound apart from the whistling of the chill wind. Lucky was keenly alert.
Nothing.
Maybe I did forget to lock it, he said to himself. Better close the door and have another look around.
He cautiously got out of bed.
As soon as hit feet hit the floor, a piercing pain shot through his leg and he crumpled to the floor, his Achilles tendon severed by a filthy claw. In agony, he turned his head and saw the glowing yellow eyes right in front of his face, under the bed. He let out a desperate wail.
Lucky cowered on the bed, making pathetic sounds.
The foul creature hissed :
"Tailypo!... Tailypo! GIVE.... BACK ...MY.. TAILYPO!"
The old man cried "Lucky, sic 'em!" but the dog would not move. Lucky was paralyzed with fright. The old man grabbed for his gun, but it had fallen way over there, out of his reach.
The beast did not move.
"LUCKY!" cried the old man, "SIC 'EM! SIC 'EM NOW!"
The well-trained dog could not disobey any more of his master's pleas. Lucky jumped down from the bed, growling like an earthquake. In a blink, the beast lashed out with its paw, deeply cutting into the old man's face. "AUUUUGH!" cried the old man, his hands flying to his wounds. In an instant, the fiend and Lucky were out the door, Lucky gaining on the heavy animal with every stride and barking like mad. The old man watched with his remaining eye until they were out of sight, and began weeping from the pain, loss, and despair. He grabbed the sheet off the bed and pressed it to his face to stanch the blood. Why hadn't the beast smelled bad this time? Why didn't I realize it was there? Oh please, he begged to the sky, please let Lucky get that beast. Don't let that beast come back here again. Please.
He soon realized that he couldn't hear Lucky's barking any more. He looked up to see the diabolical animal, horridly covered with blood, in the threshold of his cabin.
" "Tailypo!... Tailypo!
GIVE....
BACK ...
MY..
TAILYPO!"
The old man could only sob.
The beast crept closer, closer. It crept so close that the old man could feel its hot breath on his hands as he covered his face.
The hiss was more ghastly than it ever had been before :
"GIVE....
BACK ...
MY..
TAILYPO!"
"I can't! I can't!" sobbed the man. "I can't give it back!"
The beast was silent.
Then it rasped low and terrible :
"WHY
NOT"
The old man had lost all hope. "I ate it! I ate your tailypo!" he wept bitterly.
If the old man had looked up to see the beast, he would have seen its glowing eyes suffuse with a rage beyond any he had known.
A moment passed,
"GIVE....
BACK ...
MY..
TAILYPO!" shrieked the beast, unleashing its rage with unfathomable fury and cruelty.
If there had been any of the beast's tailypo left, the beast certainly got it back from the man that night. And when dawn broke across the north side of the mountain, all that was left where the old man's cabin stood was a pile of wood scraps and glass, with a shotgun jutting out from the middle of it.
And if you walk in those woods and a still cold night in November, you can still hear the hiss :
What you will need: - Web-Space with PHP - Access to the remote machine via VNC or SSH at least 1 time or a willing compatriot
I end up doing a lot of technical support for my friends/family all the time, and it gets annoying when I walk them through something and they're either not getting it, clicking on the wrong thing, not at their computer (presumably thinking they can memorize the detailed steps I'm telling them). I prefer to use VNC.
The problem is that sometimes I don't even trust them to give me their IP address using something like a website without being totally confused. I've found that paradoxically, smarter people are harder to coach than simpler ones as the smart ones get strange ideas about the way technology works and basically refuse to go through the steps.
So, basically, I've given up interacting directly. I just want to know what their IP is at all times and drop in when they want me to.
The machines I manage are mostly Macs these days, but the script here technically works with any machine. It's safe for the server.
First off, you'll need to create a clean directory on your webspace (which must have PHP enabled, btw). In that directory will be 2 files. The first you will make yourself, upload it, and set the permissions to 777 (writable/readable by everyone). Call it "ip_array.txt". Alternatively, you can change the filename for security, but you have to alter the script as well.
Next, upload this PHP script to your webspace and call it "index.php":
In a previous post, I discussed using FastScripts in combination with a simple AppleScript to assign a hot-key to accomplish annoying tasks.
I frequently change my sound output to the TV I have in my other room, and back again to my main office. It gets annoying to have to use the mouse, so using FastScripts and a modified AppleScript I found online, I toggle between audio sources.
This script currently only works with toggling between two outputs: "Line Out" and "Digital Out", but is easily made to toggle between any number of outputs. To add more/different outputs to switch between, simply add to the "theOutputs" list at the top by putting the name of the output in quotes, and separated by a comma. Please note that the outputs you wish to toggle between must be written EXACTLY as they are in your Sound Preference Pane (read: Case Sensitive!), but can be in any order you choose:
Code:
set theOutputs to {"Digital Out", "Line Out"}
tell application "System Events" set frontmostapp to item 1 of (get name of processes whose frontmost is true) end tell tell application "System Preferences" to activate tell application "System Events" get properties tell process "System Preferences" if (menu item "Sound" of menu "Window" of menu bar 1) exists then else click menu item "Sound" of menu "View" of menu bar 1 delay 1 end if set theRows to every row of table 1 of scroll area 1 of ¬ tab group 1 of window "sound" click radio button "Output" of tab group 1 of window "Sound" set nextOutput to "" set nextIndex to 0 (* Obtain Selected Output / Choose Next Output based on Selected*) repeat with aRow in theRows if selected of aRow is true then set currentlySelectedOutput to (value of text field 1 of aRow as text) if currentlySelectedOutput is in theOutputs then set selectedIndex to my getitemindex(theOutputs, currentlySelectedOutput) if (count of theOutputs) is equal to selectedIndex then set nextIndex to 1 else set nextIndex to (selectedIndex + 1) end if else set nextIndex to 1 end if set nextOutput to (get item nextIndex of theOutputs) exit repeat end if end repeat (* Select the chosen Output *) repeat with aRow in theRows if (value of text field 1 of aRow as text) ¬ is equal to nextOutput then set selected of aRow to true exit repeat end if end repeat
end tell end tell # tell application "System Preferences" to quit tell application frontmostapp to activate
on getitemindex(this_list, this_item) repeat with i from 1 to the count of this_list if item i of this_list is this_item then return i end repeat return 0 end getitemindex
If you're like me and have a monitor/TV hooked up that's either powered off or in the other room or hidden in the torture chamber in the wine cellar, you have a problem with stray windows getting stuck on other monitors.
I found a script on another website which works pretty well but throws an error every time that was annoying me. Not only that, but it's not application-specific.
I prefer to use a free application like Fast Scripts in conjunction with my modified version of the script. This allows me to just get the windows I want from the frontmost app with a hotkey which I defined myself (I chose CTRL+M). The "newpos" variable might need to be modified if you have a tiny screen resolution and like 40 windows, but other than that, everything seems to work well.
Here's the modified script:
Code:
tell application "Finder" set _b to bounds of window of desktop set screen_width to item 3 of _b set screen_height to item 4 of _b end tell
tell application "System Events" set frontmostapp to item 1 of (get name of processes whose frontmost is true) tell process frontmostapp repeat with x from 1 to (count windows) set winPos to position of window x set _x to item 1 of winPos set _y to item 2 of winPos set newpos to (x - 1) * 32 if (_x < 0 or _y < 0 or _x > screen_width or _y > screen_height) then set position of window x to {newpos, (newpos + 22)} end if end repeat end tell end tell
The show's venue was changed at the last minute from the Clubhouse, which is a crummy club with a bad sound system (honored by GZA as "the worst system he ever rocked on") within walking distance of ASU, to Club 910 Live, which is a much better joint formerly called Boston's that's about 4 miles from campus. I think that this abrupt change hurt attendance somewhat, but the sound system at 910 is great, and the outdoor stage on the chilly night contributed a lot of frostbitten ambience.
This was an incredible value for a show -- 6 bands including black metal's defining act for $22 (or $18 if you got your ticket direct from a band). Over four hours of pummeling live metal for the price of a case of beer? Yeah, I'll take that. I was amazed at the low turnout -- I estimate 200 or fewer people were there in total, maybe as low as 125. How could the most sensational band in black metal draw such a small crowd? Gotta be some bad combination of poor publicity and venue change, because I know that there are literally dozens of extreme metal fans in Phoenix. One thing I noticed is that most of the crowd looked like 'traditional' heavy metallers -- you know, long hair, baggy clothes, spikes, makeup -- rather than the hipster, quasi-ironic emo-metallers (shorter hair, hats, colors other than black, fashionably tight trousers) that tend to dominate a lot of American black metal shows.
The opening act was locals Phoenix & Dragon, who shreiked through a half-hour set of Iron Maiden-derived power metal. The singer was top-notch, hitting those freaky operatic notes. The guitar players appeared to be very good players, based upon the speed with which their fingers flew across the fretboards during the many harmonized lead passages, but their tones were so saturated with distortion and compression that they were virtually inaudible -- it just sounded like a bunch of buzzing, wheezing wide-band static behind the drum noise. They were using Line 6 amps, and they probably had them set to "sounds great when I'm practicing but I didn't bother to check how it sounds in a band mix." This band wasn't a great genre match for the rest of the acts, being very far from black metal, and I think the crowd didn't give them enough props because of that. I enjoyed their set quite a bit though -- and they get extra points for their blue-jeans-and-white-sneakers 80s garage band attire.
Next up were Tuscon black metallers Chaos Ascending, who paint themselves like Gorgoroth while sounding and acting exactly like Watain. Which suits me fine, I @#$%ing love Watain! They played a set of very engaging Satanic black metal with a healthy dollop of thrash and anthemic rock thrown in. Excellent showmanship and playing from the whole crew, and the singer really made an effort to get the crowd involved with chants of "Hail Chaos! Hail Satan!" BC Rich guitars and Madison heads were the guitar gear of choice, and the bassist played a Steinberger Spirit 5-string. This band gets a big thumbs-up from me.
The LA band Abigail Williams followed with a very enjoyable set of Agalloch-style American blackish nature-metal. When I saw three guitarists and a bass player walk onstage, I was like "oh golly, this looks dire," but in fact, they played and sounded great. They played three epic, shifting songs with plenty of contour and dynamics, and an ambient backing track featured significantly. The lead guy, by the name of Sorceron, got splendid tones from a laser blue RG550 through a Dual Rectifier; the other two guitfiddlers used a white Gibson Flying V through a new white EVH 5150 III and a '90s Japanese Jackson Dinky (stripped to bridge-pickup-only) through another Dual Rec. These were the best guitar sounds of the night, and the whole set was a real treat for me.
Polish blackened thrashy band Hate took the stage next, corpsepainted and mostly shirtless, for an energetic set that got the crowd jumping like it was a Cypress Hill show. These guys had a distinct Children of Bodom flavor with a little Behemoth thrown in for good measure. Some of their songs were pretty much straight-up hardcore thrash metal with shreiked vocals, and the kids ate it up. Musicianship was very good; the guitarists played a Fernandes Rhoads-style axe and a black King V of indeterminate manufacture, through the same amps used in the previous set. A lot of the guitar solos had an actual "rock 'n' roll" blues-based feel, which was in strong contrast to the diatonic shred styles that dominated the rest of the night. The only thing that struck me as less-than-optimal about this band was the drummer, whose time was not all that great and whose occasional one-hit-too-many bass drum rolls were pretty distracting. Funny, because usually, the best musician in any given extreme metal band is the drummer due to the demands of precision placed upon them. That aside though, Hate turned in a good show.
Norse veterans Keep of Kalessin appeared next to deliver a rabble-rousing set of black fantasy metal. There were several diehard Kalessin fans in the audience who enthusiastically growled along with the singer as he relayed tales of dragons and stuff. This cat has some pipes and the melodic vocal parts were done in a very unique half-grunt, half-croon that was real effective. The shaveling drummer was like a machine gun, brilliant with stop-on-a-dime blast beats, bass rolls, and well-placed tom assaults that kept the heads bobbing. The guitarist was playing a fancily-appointed LTD Horizon through one of the Dual Rectifiers and getting a pretty good sound while playing like he was being chased by two malevolent mages or something -- superb musicianship all around in this band, and very good crowd interaction. When they played their last song, a cut from their recent record "Kolossus," the audience went apey.
After the next equipment breakdown / setup, there was a wait of at least a half-hour before Mayhem appeared. The crowd was getting antsy and chanted repeatedly for the band, but no dice. Mayhem's guitar techs fiddled with the guitars and amps a bit, and I checked out what gear was in use. Both guitar amps were Blackstar half-stacks. One guitar was a black-and-red Jackson Rhoads (I believe one of the Japanese models), and the other was a black LTD EC-1000. Hellhammer's bass was an old black Gibson Les Paul Special bass through what looked like an Ampeg 8x10 cabinet. There were a few Boss pedals around, sitting on top of one of the amps, but I couldn't tell what they were from where I stood at the edge of the stage.
Finally, the fog machine started spewing, and the main attraction got underway. Hellhammer strode onstage and sat down at his drum kit to much applause, and then the two guitarists, stand-ins for the murdered Euronymous whose names I don't know, walked on with bassist Necrobutcher, who sported a Mayhem t-shirt to remind everyone of what band they were watching. The crowd was going nuts as the opening riffs of "Deathcrush" sliced through the fog. Soon singer Attilla was visible through the haze. He was, as I'd expected from reading online reviews of their recent shows, most unusually attired. The singer, who'd appeared on the iconic record "De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas," wore a red-lined taffetta Dracula cape over a Bathory t-shirt with a creative part-shorn, part-long hairstyle. He'd painted his face white with black curlicues. His microphone was taped to an inverted crucifix, and around his neck was draped a short noose of heavy rope. In his left hand he clutched a sans-mandible human skull, which he held with what appeared to be a cocktail napkin until he later revealed it to be a sash of some kind. Throughout the set, Atilla waved this skull in a spirited manner and used it as a puppet to 'sing' into the microphone.
I had expected that the band would turn in a performance that was at least partially 'phoned in,' due to the fact that they're pretty old and the crowd was so small, plus the venue change hassles. Not so! Mayhem launched into a show that was, in a word, phenomenal. The three originalish members looked pretty good for their ages, and Necrobutcher's showmanship exemplified what I like to see from a rock 'n' roll performance : lots of audience eye contact, moving around to make sure everybody gets to see him, cool rock poses and grimacing. He and Attilla posed together for phone cameras while performing several times, and everybody in the front row stage left -- me included -- got either a high-five or a handshake from Necrobutcher, whose facial experssion clearly communicated the fact that he was pretty darn thrilled with the show, for whatever reason.
To see such a storied, classic band in these close quarters was positively awesome and inspiring. They played plenty of hoary chestnuts like "Funeral Fog," the aforementioned "Deathcrush," and the title cut from "De Mysteriis...," along with some stuff that I didn't recognize that I guess was from their latter-day LP "Ordo et Chao" [sic]. Attila rasped and croaked well through all these tunes, and Hellhammer's performance on the drums was overwhelmingly great. Bludgeoning, powerful, orhestral, and precise, this was one of the best metal drum performances I've ever heard. Too bad they had him stuck way in back so that he was more or less invisible when the fog machine was running. The guitarists performed well, but their tone was really splattery and fizzy, making for a pretty indistinct guitar presentation that also sadly ate into Necrobutcher's great-sounding fuzzed bass. If this is what Blackstar amps sound like, I'm staying the hell away from them. I mean, of course black metal guitars are supposed to sound $#!%ty, but it should be "good $#!%ty" like Euronymous' Les-Paul 'n' Marshall tone on the records, or at least like Darkthrone.
The crowd was immensely excited and galvanized by Mayhem's performance, surging and headbanging furiously, horns aloft, while huffing out the words to songs they knew. The visible glee on Necrobutcher's face made the people rock even harder, and by the time to set was over, both the band and audience had a glow that I could only describe as postcoital.
In sum : a wonderful performance from a worship-inspiring headliner, supported by a grip of excellent opening acts. Rad show. (55,429)
... whereupon I found myself once again bandied about Adrift the four winds of fate. I had sailed the usually mild coast off the Northern shores of the isle as many times in my dreaming states as I had within the confines of corporeal reality and felt well within my capacity as a worthy seaman on these familiar waters. Something about the noontime struck me as particular, however; and with the sudden and unexpected onslought of a vast malodorous miasma I hastily retired below deck for a brief siesta.
When I woke, I found to my abject and absolute horror that not only had the pernicious zephyr accumulated but that it now occluded the sun and only a glowing red orb- like the egg of some great Eastern Serpent sat low in the sky... the only remnants of that ever lustrous solar champion of planet earth. When day turns to night it is an un natural thing; young cower beneath the mammalian warmth of the security; the birds pause in their flights and are disoriented; pale things in creeping places rejoice in the momentary triumph of their patron, Mother Night. Such was the way with this, no birds where to be seen nor heard and all manner of marine activity had ceased though earlier I had been greatly amused by a doting pair of young seals feeding near a particularly choice and active reef. I was greatly dismayed and while realization of this dawned on me it also happened into my mind that getting home would now be rather quite impossible as the accursed wind which had brought with it the lingering abortive musk had now all entirely vanished. Blown out and exhausted, Æolus had since pissed off for a nap or a moments respite. Panic had begun to take its icey hold upon the strings of my heart.
The urge to retch had been nigh uncontrollable since my unfortunate wake. With the dismal assesment of my current surroundings there was now nothing holding me back from emptying the contents of my stomach all into the placid sepia waters below. Through tear choked eyes I saw the murky water and prayed for rain. In times of incredible need, desperate animals are known to make bargains with themselves in order to bolster their courage enough to simply go on. Frantically, i began to search for a paddle. (63,694)
A headline on BBC grabbed my attention yesterday. Ex-Soviet chief Mikhail Gorbachev commented that Russian Prime Minister (and once and future President) V. Putin was "literally castrating" Russia's democratic system. His glaringly incorrect use of the word "literally" aside, that's some provocative talk.
Everybody has known that Putin is a bloodthirsty KGB thug with autocratic ambitions since the get-go. No revelation there; in fact, the Russian people wanted somebody like that to wipe out those pesky folks up in Chechnya. But the statement was bold and impolitic, maybe dangerous, even for Gorbachev. Of course, the blotchy ex-President is aged 80 this year, and that's about 500 in vodka-swilling Russkie years, so he surely knows that he's not going to see the decade out anyhow -- he has little reason to fear a fate like Alex Litvinenko's or Anna Politkovskaya's.
Haven't heard much about those poor blighters lately, huh? I got to thinking about them. Politkovskaya incessantly railed against Putin's efforts to turn the Russian state into a crime-sodden Mafioso version of the old Soviet regime, and there wasn't a lot of surprise when she turned up murdered on Putin's birthday -- a present, it was said, to Putin from some simpering vicious cur named Kadyrov.
As for Litvinenko, he was prancing quite merrily in London until a smarmy stranger slipped Polonium-210 into his cup of Darjeeling. In a note in English supposedly drafted by his lawyer at his request shortly before his death a couple weeks later, he openly accused Putin of ordering the hit.
Litvenenko was a KGB / FSB fixer and part-time goon-for-hire until he jumped the shark and held a press conference accusing his superiors of ordering the murder of his other boss, the apelike oligarch Boris Berezovsky. After that, he was mostly a professional pot-stirrer, blackmailer, and font of conspiracy theory while temping for the English security agency MI6. The sensational accusations of Litvinenko aimed at his former spook pals seemed inexhaustible, and, like the delightfully fantastic accounts of ex-Soviet Spetsnaz soldier Victor Suvarov, completely impossible to either prove or disprove.
Most of them are merely interesting, accusing the Russian government of orchestrating terror attacks on its own people for political gain, among other things, but there's one in particular that suddenly rang a bell with me when I read it again, years after the original allegation was made. Back then, being of the opinion that the dissolution of the Soviet Union and our own dalliances in the Middle East had thrust us into a chaotic era of distributed, decentralized terrorism, I laughed at it. But today, with our economy being equivalent to a pile of garbage, our global political standing severely damaged, and our defense posture compromised laughably by involvement in -- count 'em -- three wars of choice, it suddenly crystallizes and rings true.
Litinvenko's trenchant words were that "the center of global terrorism is not in Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan or the Chechen Republic. The terrorism infection creeps away worldwide from the cabinets of the Lubyanka Square and the Kremlin."
The key is the Afghan war. All politics junkies thought that it was plum insane when Bush decided to invade Afghanistan after the 9/11 attacks. Didn't that chuckling little blue-tie boozehound know that the Soviets, who do not back down very often, had just fled in defeated shame after a long war there? And didn't he recall that it was us who had trained and armed the fighters and planners that became the Taliban and Al-Qaeda? They were called "Mujahideen" back then, and we loved them to pieces for willingly fighting a proxy war against our Red enemies for us. Then, once the Soviets had high-tailed it out of there, we said "Okey doke, thanks for killing some Russkies -- see you crazy Arabs later!" and left the Afghans to deal with the war's aftermath all on their lonesome.
The ex-Mujahideen were left with a desolate, befouled country with a population that was desperate, ill-fed, disease-stricken, and uneducated. As always happens in these situations, radical nationalist pricks took the scene over and started behaving in really beastly ways. After winning a nasty civil war, these guys -- now smirkingly calling themselves Taliban, "the students" -- cooked up an especially brutish version of Islamic law that took the worst elements of Wahabism and turned them up to 11. Through threats, propaganda, buy-offs of local warlords, and dumb violence, these whip-crazy clowns lorded it over the people like monstrous school bullies. But as do their greasy Italian peers the Mafia, they provided some public services, so that communities begrudgingly relied on them. The Taliban and the people at large were pretty miffed at the Americans for using them to fight a war and then splitting without helping to put their country back in livable shape.
Here's what I think happened then : After the collapse of the Soviet government and subsequent fragmenting of its territory, the Russian power stucture still had an obvious strategic interest in combating American influence -- a greater interest, in fact, since in the absence of credible opposition, the USA would become a global heregmon. However, the Russians now lacked both the resources and the political will to continue with their long-standing strategy of sapping our abilities using conventional proxy wars initiated by openly Commie revolutionaries (e.g., Korea, Vietnam, all that crazy ish down in Central and South America, etc). Most of the guys who assumed power had history as Soviet apparatchiks, so all the old desires, grudges, and mindsets remained, frustrated, under a different and waaay less-cool banner.
So they called up their former enemies the Afghans and said "Hey guys, sorry about that whole invasion thing. It was all that crazy Brezhnev and weird Gorbachev, we fired them. So you're mad at the Americans, right? They really gave you guys a raw deal, skipping out like that. Now they've invaded your brethren in Iraq. Guess they really like to screw Muslims over." The sweaty, seething Afghans said "You're darn tootin' they gave us a raw deal. We'd sure like to give them a piece of our minds, but we can't even pay for enough bullets to shoot our own adulteresses, much less get back at the Yanks."
The sleek-headed Russians replied "How about this : we'll give you guys some dough, plenty of weapons, and lots of training in covert operations if you promise to use them to really give the Americans hell -- on their own turf."
"Well hot damn!" said the Afghans. "Don't have to ask us twice. Let's get crackin'!"
So it was that the Russians cleverly changed Al-Qaeda from a loosely-organized asymmetrical-warfare unit designed to combat Soviet conventional warfare to a tool using which they could wage a worldwide proxy war on American interests. And -- bonus! -- they could now strike in American territory without fear of triggering a global thermonuclear war.
And strike, they did. In 1993, just two years after the 'fall' of the Soviet Union, the first terrorist attack on American soil since the Second World War was executed -- the World Trade Center bombing. This was followed by the Oklahoma City bombing and attacks against US interests in Saudi Arabia, Tanzania, Kenya, and Yemen, all leading up to the era-defining attacks that demolished the World Trade Center and damaged the Pentagon on 9/11, killing 3000 people.
The 9/11 attacks created a situation that the Soviets could only have dreamed of : the USA miring itself in two enormously expensive, destabilizing, and diplomatically disastrous wars while organically creating a nearly limitless supply of fearless new jihadists, all at very little cost to the Russians and with practically zero political traceability to the Kremlin.
We slogged hard and unprepared through the Afghan war, being confounded by warlords and picked off by desert snipers just as the Soviets had less than a generation earlier. We bombed the living daylights out of where we figured the terrorists to be. More terrorist attacks, attempted attacks, and new small wars occurred, as the US government passed laws that greatly increased state power over individuals and caused discontent and division on the home front. The harder we tried to fight back against our attackers, the more Muslim civilians we killed, and the more vengeful resentment was incubated in the global Muslim population.
Meanwhile, completely uncontrolled war spending combined with essentially unconcealed corporate dictation of government policy combined to put the USA in the worst economic and social condition it had been in since the Great Depression.
So in less than 20 years, Russia had gone from being completely incapable of bugging its old enemy to having a more or less unstoppable way to constantly harrass, demoralize, upset, and drain the US. And after a break-in period, it was self-sustaining, requiring practically no maintenance since we handled the whole "fueling people's desire to be undeterrable suicide terrorists" thing.
Unlike Russian troops or even your garden-variety nationalist insurgents, jihadis would actually rather die than not die, which makes it impossible to convince them to sit down and be quiet. They need practically no expensive equipment; they can make bombs out of just about anything. They target civilians with impunity and can cause hundreds of deaths with each of theirs. Meanwhile, our political apparatus is distracted and inattentive as the Russian leadership solidifies its plan to burst out of its flimsy republican cocoon and spread its wings as a cackling drunken butterfly of Mafia-infused statism, free of any ideology but a raw lust for power.
The only thing left for us to do is to keep an eye on Russia, even as their autonomous jihadi robots spread ever further to do their bloody work. China is already in the business of securing a strategic advantage against the US by economic and colonial means; Russia aims to bleed us until our resources and will are stretched so thin that we have none left to resist their reassumption of parity. Then they can partner with any of the other numerous governments we've pissed off lately to further erode our interests and capacity. Putin, in a Freudian slip, has accused the Russian Mafia of involvement with Al-Qaeda. The kicker, of course, is that the mafia is indistinguishable from the government.
Of course, it could be that Litvinenko is wrong and that Russia is trying to go on the straight and narrow while dealing with its homegrown terrorist problem. If there's one thing the past decade has taught us, though, it's that the worst outcome is the most likely, and the most shocking possibility is usually true. And when the hideous nesting doll of modern terrorism is finally disassembled, I think we'll see a tiny, grinning, fundamental Putin. (122,731)
So, it has come to my attention that the kids at large have been letting themselves be influenced by the pernicious ramblings of English sensationalist David Icke, that is, the guy who warns of a secret society of lizard-people he calls "reptilians" that control the world's institutions.
In addition to being a total joke, both factually and philosophically, and probably not even a person who believes his own utterly laughable speculative fiction, Icke is a conduit for racist, anti-Jewish ideas. This is what makes his influence more problematic than that of your garden-variety propagandist, rabble-rouser, or cult leader.
Below is my open letter to all who read or take seriously the output of David Icke. If you are among these folks, please read this letter in its entirety.
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Listen. I'm not writing to argue with or attack you, I'm writing to give you a heads-up about something that concerns you. I know what it's like to be a person searching for answers to the way this often corrupt and assaultive world works. I get it. But the twisted racist venom of people like Icke is not the place from which to get your 'awareness.'
Before you start defaming yourself by parroting Icke's "truth," you must allow yourself to acknowledge that Icke, in his defining book "The Robots' Rebellion," repeatedly and explicitly references the book "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion," which is by far the most famous and influential piece of anti-Jewish, anti-Semitic propaganda from the 20th century.
It's also a fact that in much anti-Jewish propaganda of the early 20th century and earlier, Jews are portrayed as having lizard-like characteristics --- this to dehumanize them and make them easier to hate. It is not coincidence that Icke uses the same imagery.
Do you understand this? Any time you spout Icke's ideas, you are associating yourself with the worst genocide in the history of modern Europe, and the ongoing racism that attends it.
Do you claim to support peace, wisdom, humanity, or higher consciousness? If so, I don't suspect that the above is an image you want to cultivate for yourself. Nor the sort of thing you want infecting your internal worldview. I believe that you have a brain that works and you may have important contributions to make to the world. Once you get yourself labeled as an anti-Semite, no serious peace-loving person is going to give you the time of day. Sit back and think it though.
It's not a matter of "backing down" from your beliefs. Emerson said, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds." It's a matter of realizing that something's not right with the information you've been given and revising your opinions in light of that realization.
Now, if Icke, who is more or less the Rush Limbaugh of conspiracy salesmen, has snowed you to the extent that you can't even be bothered to reread "...Rebellion" to see whether what I'm saying is true, well, that's your business. But the reality is that you will realize, sooner or later, that his propaganda is senseless, crypto-racist, and a crass scheme to make money on fabricated controversy. My hope is that this letter will help that time come "sooner."
Icke and his cartoon sensationalism aside, here's a serious suggestion for you : stop wasting your time reading insubstantial hogwash, and instead start learning how to solve, or at least address, some real-world problems. If you want to expand your consciousness, try reading some Zen koans or Lao Tzu or Brian Greene or Roger Penrose. If you want to learn about *real,* not made-up, problems that face the world and affect millions, read Francis Lappe or "Twinkie, Deconstructed." And if you want to understand how the world works, learn some science. In fact, the scientific method is a good way to start learning how to parse the credible from the bullshit.
There are a billion people on this planet who don't get enough to eat, daily. Hundreds of children die *every day* from dysentery, cholera, and other epidemics. Day in and day out, people are harassed, abused, and murdered because of their religion or ethnicity. The oceans are poisoned and the world is running out of clean water. The bees are dying en mass and can't pollinate properly. Don't you think it'd be a better use of your mind and energy to start working on some of these problems rather than worrying about who is and who isn't a lizard?
As I said, you can take or leave what I'm presenting here. It's up to you. But, again, I implore you : sit back. And think it through. (85,541)