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German Gymnastics Medalist Flosses Spandex SS Uniform

Poster: Hank @ Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:30 am

Guten tag! 'Tis the season for bad flashbacks of 20th century monstrosity. The Russkies are invading their neighbors, the Italians are systematically fingerprinting Gypsy children, and Nazi iconography is on display at the Olympics. Some folks say that the Olympic torch is a repugnant throwback to the 1936 Nazi-hosted Games, and maybe it is, but moreso is the crypto-SS leotard uniform sported by the German gymnast Fabian Hambuechen.

Sounds like Germanophobic jabber, huh? After all, Germans are pretty sensitive about the whole Nazi thing. They'd have to be nutty to field any uniform even vaguely reminiscent of the bad old days, right? Well, check this out :

Look at the zig-zag angles on homeboy's uniform and compare them to those in the Schutzstaffel logo (or the KISS emblem, for that matter). No matter which way you look at Hambuechen's outfit, you get half of the SS flag. The black-n-red color scheme and eagle don't do much to soften the Wehrmacht overtones, either.

Even more provocative is the fact that Ham's old leotard design didn't have the "S" on it at all :

What kind of maniacal madness drove this rubbery punk to change into the Ubermensch spandex? An even better question is : why in blazes did his handlers allow him to prance onto the world stage in that abominable outfit? Did they seriously think that nobody was going to notice? It's not subtle. It's not like there's a regular "S" on this guy's suit and people are saying 'oh Germans shouldn't wear "S"es, it looks Nazi.' Nope, this is a dead-obvious SS "S" on the guy's uniform.

Wake up, people. Funky days are back again. As long as by "funky," one means "absolutely G_d-damned terrifying." Sit back and think it through.

Comments: 3  •  Post Comment  •  Share Share Top
Daniel Roe Fri Aug 22, 2008 2:39 pm
holy jumping nazis, batman!

I heard ubermensch is prohibited from participating in the games
1m1w Sun Aug 31, 2008 11:29 pm
Am I the only one to ponder that perhaps somewhere, someplace, sometime during this event a young jewess or even a gaggle of the things commented vapidly, "He's hot."

I'd like to think that such an event occured somewhere, perhaps Massachusetts. I'd like to think that it did. And if it did or if it didn't, I still laugh.

Some far off date in the future, a being not unlike ourselves will unearth a Hitler teapot and suggest that the primitive creatures which wrought such a likeness into being worshipped the visage as a god. For sure, if any alien archealogists dig up this suspect unitard, they will be the most sought after peices of grey-skinned ass this side of Alpha Centauri, and that is a fact.
Hank Thu Sep 04, 2008 6:56 am
It seems assured that the Druish princess scenario you describe did occur.

Since time is an illusion and the future already has happened, I don't feel bad telling you that the SS unitard ended up in the Smithsonian's "21st Century Sexual Deviance : Nazi Kink" exhibit after being unearthed by a three-fingered archaeologist in the year 2576.
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