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Best Of Latewire The Worst Movie Ever!

Bill
Poster: Bill @ Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:30 pm

Monster a Go-Go! (1965)

I've seen my fair share of what Wikiapeadia considers bad, sure enough this movie makes the list. In the scale of movies I've seen this is it the zero rating from which I judge all bad movies, there is nothing redeeming this film. The "so bad it's good" phenomena that have made movies like StarCrash fun is absent, instead "it's so bad that it sucks the joy out of life."

The plot:

An astronaut crash lands and disappears, a monster suddenly appears causing death through super radiation. In short, if you like B-movies you've seen the plot before and you've seen it done much better. There's a twist at the end that is either far to clever for this movie, or just too stupid for words.

Problems with this film are not limited to the following:

  • Pacing - I can't say that it was glacial, as glaciers move and a good part of this film doesn't. For example this movie contains scenes like nearly 10 minutes of emergency vehicles backing up and just sitting there. (Perhaps a deeper metaphor for the plot?) It's almost surreal; the pacing falls somewhere in between Quantum of Solace and the epic The Cure For Insomnia.

  • Continuity/Editing - Going from one ice shelf to another is a jarring experience, while some attempt is made via the Voice-Over Guy tries and fails to lessen the impact as this movie stumbles from one scene to another. On the bright side; these violent bouts of sloppy editing may be the only action in this movie. Almost as bad, the actors are replaced halfway through, in many cases playing a roll someone else had already started (Oddly enough it took me a while to notice as the characters are indistinct.).

  • Action - What action there is only comes from narration by Voice-Over Guy. The monster smashes a lab? You tell us Voice-Over Guy, as even smashing a high-school chemistry set may be too exciting for the audience. Grizzly murder? Doing a cut-scene with a monster looming over the camera might induce palpitations, so once again Voice-Over Guy comes to the rescue. We are treated to a couple minutes of Go-Go dancing which would be preferable to the rest of the movie, but as best I can tell the footage has absolutely nothing to do with the plot nor even involves any of the actors.

  • Acting/Dialog - Like to watch movies about people drinking coffee? You're halfway there, there are three problems though:
    1. You can tell the actors are reading from cue cards.
    2. The dialog stretches out for far too long, content is a bit under par for even a B-grade movie. Think 70 minutes of Ed Wood monologues strung together without any discernible purpose.
    3. All sound is missing in places, in others the dialogue is unintelligible.

  • Direction - In all fairness I can't blame the actors, it seems as though the director just set up a camera and let the actors try to work through it. If there was any continuity in Monster a Go-Go! I'm sure it was incidental. This film either has no direction or it's direction on a higher plain of metaphysical consciousness where narrative can be implied without or despite content.

There are extenuating circumstances in the creation of this horror; this film was dropped due to budget problems and left unfinished for four years. It was picked up, then roughly spliced together by another director who need a second movie quickly to fill his double feature. All the same I'd never sign my name to a monstrosity this horrible: Shame on you Bill Rebane for putting it on celluloid!

If you absolutely have to see it, you can find it on the internet.

(27,081)
Keywords: Movies 
Comments: 4  •  QUICK Comment  •  ADVANCED Comment  •  Share Share Top
Bill Mon Mar 16, 2009 10:09 am
Trailer

What are the whim-whams? And would I want a case of them if they where given to me?
Hank Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:14 pm
Is this a sequel to "Coffee and Cigarettes?"
Bill Thu Mar 19, 2009 9:52 am
Hank wrote:
Is this a sequel to "Coffee and Cigarettes?"

:lol:

No, imagine giving Coffee and Cigarettes to the worst editor in the industry, have him attempt to splice together the scenes into a narrative bridging with some voice overs and in twenty minutes of generic stock footage. All the while dropping the audio entirely in places so if you where trying to follow the plot you'd fail miserably.

Interesting enough, Bill Rebane would claim "Monster A Go-Go!" as a parody which is just as outlandish a claim as "Coffee and Cigarettes" claiming to be entertainment.
1m1w Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:54 am
I still think Warriors of Virtue is the worst movie ever. At the very least, it is the worse movie I've ever seen. The best, either STALKER or The Life Aquatic.
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