Hank
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Poster: Hank @ Thu Jun 03, 2010 1:54 am
Ever had a really great customer service experience with a technology company? Lord knows I haven't. That's why, for years, I didn't really care whether the blithering morpion on the other end of the line was located in Brooklyn, Botswana, or Bombay. I always just plain avoided dealing with customer service altogether. I figured that the level of service was uniformly awful and that, in fact, th' overall better math and science education in places like India (relative to the USA) would probably make for better tech service coming from those labor pools. I watched the comedy farce "Outsourced," whose sunny depiction of the workers at an Indian call center seemed to confirm my suspicion that all this anti-outsourcing noise was just a load a racist hooey.
Boy, was I wrong!
As those who follow th' Latewire will know, I work for a company that deals in computer hardware. One of the products we sell is recycled laptop batteries. We caught wind of a product recall issued by HP last year and then expanded just last month, as detailed in HP's link below :
http://bpr.hpordercenter.com/hbpr/M14.aspx
and discovered that we had at least one potentially affected battery in our stock. Now, I don't know about you, but when one of our customers pays through the nose for a hard-to-find replacement item and pays $60 to ship it to a repair technician via next-day air cargo, they're not going to be happy if the damned thing catches fire or leaks hot battery gunk all over their low-slung techemo trousers. So with that in mind, I attempted to go through the automated recall-verification process on HP's website. This effort was stymied, however, because I didn't have the complete laptop computer on hand from which the potentially-affected battery was taken, and the site has the computer's serial number as a required field. Now, I'd already determined from HP's own listing of affected battery serial number series that the battery I had was likely a recalled unit. I didn't want to send this thing to some poor sucker only to have it burn his legs off, so I contacted HP's customer service via their online chat 'service.'
What I got was some poor bastard, 'Pavan Kuma R,' in India who spoke English perfectly well, but didn't give a flying @#$% about my actual problem, and instead kept inanely repeating the same infuriating obstruction as I attempted to get the situation sorted out. Despite the fact that this recall involves the battery, not the notebook computer as a whole, and despite the fact that the battery-serial-number check step on HP's website shows that the specific item I had is likely under recall, these soulless sons of lizards kept telling me that I needed the laptop serial number in order for them to tell me whether or not my battery was defective and potentially dangerous.
After I'd given up on 'Pavan,' who was less helpful than a pile of dead hamsters, I told him how I felt about the customer service experience and told him to pass my sentiments along to his supervisor. 'Pavan' then practically begged for me to stay on the line while he got his supervisor, who, he hinted, might be able to actually help me. I was short on time and in no mood for any more of this foolishness, so I said forget it, but then he was like 'oh please' and I said OK, five minutes.
Well, guess what? The supervisor, 'Satyanarayana Raju K' was not only equally as obstructive, but also actually more rude and annoying. This individual just parroted HP's bullfeathers policy back at me and jabbered confrontationally. In all, these barfbats wasted about 45 minutes of my time, and I ended up having to remove the battery from our stock anyway, to be on the safe side. That cost real dough.
Now, do I seriously think that these clownsnakes would have necessarily been more willing to help me if they'd been located in the USA? Not really. Maybe the stonewalling and parroting would have been reduced if they knew how to carry on a reasonable English convo instead of acting like monstrous automatons, but I doubt that I'd have been able to get anywhere with these goons even if they were from Duluth. The real failure here is that HP has designed their recall to protect only individual consumers, and to screw service providers and resellers, because HP has designs on monopolizing those industries as far as its own product is concerned. This attitude is BS, MSM, and dangerous. "Who cares if they have acid burns on their inner thighs, they didn't buy a new HP laptop, so they can FRY."
Bottom line : HP sucks gnat nads. Their customer service is jive turkey bait. And call center managers : don't train your @#$%ing people to waste my time and act like some damned robots. If that's how you're going to roll, at least get some real goddamn robots. Preferably with lasers.
I've attached the complete transcript of the exchange between me and HP's customer service demons below, in case you're a glutton for punishment. Read only in the presence of a bottle of Dewar's.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:46 PM] -- Automatically generated message:
A support specialist will be with you shortly.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:47 PM] -- Automatically generated message:
You are now chatting with support specialist Pavan Kuma R.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:47 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Welcome to HP Total Care for Notebook. My name is Pavan. Please give me a few moments while I review your problem description details.
NOTE: For security reasons, PLEASE DO NOT send credit card information via chat.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:47 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Hello hank
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:47 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Hello Pavan
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:48 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
How are you doing today
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:48 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Well, thanks, how are you?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:48 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I am doing absolutely wonderful, thank you.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:48 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Good to hear
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:48 PM] -- hank latewire says:
So how about this battery I have here?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:49 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
If I understand you correctly, you need to validate and check whether the battery of notebook is under any recall or not. Am I right?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:49 PM] -- hank latewire says:
that's right
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:50 PM] -- hank latewire says:
that's rught
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:50 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I do understand your concern, I am here to help you in this regard.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:50 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
hank, you will find the product and serial number of the notebook at the bottom of the laptop on a white bar coded sticker preceded by p/n and s/n.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:51 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I don't ahve the notebook handy -- that's why I couldn't proceed on the recall portion of the website
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:51 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Please check once and provide me the product and serial number to pull up notebook records.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:51 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I have only the battery
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:52 PM] -- hank latewire says:
this chat interface lags badly, doesn't it?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:52 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I regret to inform you that we need the product details to check with this.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:53 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
With out the product and serial number, we would not be able to check the notebook status in records.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:53 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I have the battery in front of me here
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:53 PM] -- hank latewire says:
it's the battery that's potentially recalled, not the notebook
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:53 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I understand your concern and the inconvenience caused, but we need the Serial and Product Number to check with this.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:53 PM] -- hank latewire says:
really
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:54 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
hank, not complete notebooks battery are under recall only few notebooks battery are under recall.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:54 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I have the product and serial number of the battery -- why do you need the notebook?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:55 PM] -- hank latewire says:
right, and I want to know whether this particular battery is under recall
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:55 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Few notebooks with particular serial and product number has a battery recall.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:56 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Hence to check whether the battery of the notebook is under recall or not we need the product details of notebook.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:56 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
For your help, here is the link with details to Locate the Notebook Product Number or Model Number:
http://h10025.www1.hp.com/ewfrf/wc/docu ... uct=18703#
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:56 PM] -- hank latewire says:
the information on http://bpr/hpordercenter.com/hpbr/m14.aspx indicates that it's the battery bar code that determines recall status -- see for yourself
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:57 PM] -- hank latewire says:
http://bpr.hpordercenter.com/hpbr/m14.aspx that is
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:58 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I understand the situation. In the above link of battery recall we need to enter the Serial Number to check whether battery is under recall or not.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 3:59 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
With the serial and product number of notebook we would not be able to get the correct information regarding recall.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:00 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I would love to help you with this, but I am sorry the data to check this cannot be retrieved without notebook details.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:01 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
If you have product and serial number of notebook, you can validate the whether battery is under recall or not at your end also.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:01 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
I apologize for any inconvenience this has caused.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:02 PM] -- hank latewire says:
a bad battery is going to be bad no matter what notebook it's installed in -- this is a major customer service failure and potential safety hazard. Tell your supervisor that the situation is not acceptable. If this battery is deployed and causes damage or injury due to HP's inability to determine its recall status, there are some serious liability issues at play.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:02 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
hank, not all the notebooks battery are under recall.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:03 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Only few notebook with particular serial number is under recall.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:03 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
To check this we need the details as it is mandatory.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:06 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I understand perfectly that not all batteries are under recall - that's why I'm checking this one. I've printed this chat record. I recognize that this isn't your fault, it's HP's foolish policy decision. I want you to pass my dissatisfaction and concern to your supervisor so that HP can be made aware of this error in the design of their program and policy.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:08 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Please be online for a while, my supervisor will be handling the chat to take your compliant.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:09 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
The chat would be transfer to floor supervisor with in few minutes.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:09 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I don't have a whole lot of time here - we've already spent 20 minutes
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:10 PM] -- hank latewire says:
just have the supervisor review the chat -- if they wish to contact me, they can do so via email - hank [at ] latewire [dot] com
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:10 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
hank, transferring the chat to supervisor would take few minutes.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:11 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Your time and patience would be much more appreciated if you stay connected few minutes.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:12 PM] -- hank latewire says:
OK, five minutes
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:14 PM] -- Automatically generated message:
You are now chatting with support specialist Satyanarayana Raju K.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:14 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Hello
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:14 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Hello hank.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:14 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
My name is Satyanarayana Raju.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:14 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
I am the floor supervisor.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:15 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Hello Satyanarayana
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:15 PM] -- hank latewire says:
have you reviewed the chat session between Pavan and I?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:15 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Regarding the battery recall, it is not possible to validate the battery without the serial and product numbers of the notebook because battery recall is only for specific batteries which are shipped in few series notebooks like F700, DV6500, etc..
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:16 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
I have go through the chat, without the notebook information it is not possible to confirm whether the battery is covered under recall or not.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:17 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Using the notebook serial number we will validate whether that perticular battery is shipped with the notebook series or not. If yes, then we will check whether the battery serial number/bar code comes under recall or not.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:18 PM] -- hank latewire says:
that's what Pavan told me -- it doesn't make sense because a) we know what series this battery is from and b) the recall page at http://bpr.hpordercenter.com/hpbr/m14.aspx specifies battery serial number bar codes that may be affected, so it's clear that the information about which specific batteries are subject to recall is known
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:18 PM] -- hank latewire says:
this particular one, serial number 65035N7B7V5YDJ
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:19 PM] -- hank latewire says:
is listed uner the potentially recalled ones for the Presario V6000 series, etc, on the page I noted
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:19 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Without using the serial and product numbers of the notebook and series it is not possible to validate the battery. May I know how you have validated the battery?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:19 PM] -- hank latewire says:
where it specifies that batteries with code 65035^^B7V^^^^ are potentially recalled
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:20 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I haven't validated the battery -- that is what I am attempting to do
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:20 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
All the batteries are not affected in DV6000 series notebook.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:21 PM] -- hank latewire says:
I understand that perfectly -- why can't you grasp that I'm trying to find out whether this particular battery, which I now have in my hand, is affected by the recall?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:21 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Please get back to us with the notebook serial number and product number. Without the notebook, it is not possible to validate and replace the battery.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:22 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
The battery recall validation tool will work only when we enter the serial and product numbers of the notebook along with the bar code.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:22 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
There is no such option to directly validate the battery using bar code.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:25 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Please get back to us with the notebook information so that we can check whether the battery is covered under recall or not. If yes, we will replace the battery.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:25 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Is there anything else that I can assist you?
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:26 PM] -- hank latewire says:
you clearly haven't reviewed the chat between Pavan and myself, so I'll repeat : a defective battery is defective no matter what unit it's installed in. It's not the consumer's fault that your validation tool can't vet individual batteries. It's dangerous that you are unable to tell the consumer whether their battery is defective without the notebook serial number handy. It could lead to damage or injury. I want you to know that this experience has been very worrisome and frustrating, and perfectly typifies the kind of poor customer service that people often associate with HP and this type of customer service operation in general. I suggest that you pass this sentiment along.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:27 PM] -- hank latewire says:
Good-bye
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:27 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
To check whether the battery is defective or not, we have to validate the battery using the notebook information. Without validating the battery it is not possible to confirm whether it is defective or not.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:28 PM] -- Satyanarayana Raju K says:
Without the serial and product numbers of the notebook, it is not possible to validate the battery. We do not have such option.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:30 PM] -- Automatically generated message:
You are now chatting with support specialist Pavan Kuma R.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:30 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Thank you for hank.
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:30 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Here is the reference number of current chat : 4574885
[Thursday, May 27, 2010 4:30 PM] -- Pavan Kuma R says:
Is there anything else I can assist you with, today?
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