Travel back with me if you will to a glorious time a year of greatness the taxes were low the drugs were good and the woman didn't give ya AIDS even if you put it in their butt. Surely the year of our Lord nineteen hundred and eighty six was a year to best all years besides for 1985 which really was a kickass year in and of itself. Just ask William Gibson. Also I been shat out my mams hairy vagina that year so in a sense 1985 really was the crest of the wave as far as I'm concerned. But 1986 did had its moments, one of which will go down in history because Urotsukidoji was released that year. The Man. The Legend. Toshio Maeda brought forth from his genius fuzzy Nipponese head a great work of time, much less great than Berserk but nonetheless a gift from that place where myth and story meet and are swimming together gloriously in the vaultless seas of creativity. Overcoming great adversity, Maeda struggled against insurmountable oppression to bring us the promethean Legend of the Overfiend. For what does a man of Japan love in life more than porn? Hah! Mount Fuji of course but even Hokusai himself was a fond fondler of octopus tentacley vaginas. Alas Maeda the Mighty was the genius who singlehandedly dared to defy the loathesome and vile censorship laws of Nippon. A man who saw a great mischief and decided to take a stand! This is what makes Urotsukidoji one of the greatest love stories ever told for the tale itself is a labor of love from the start. Maeda truly understands and loves womans as attested by the fact that the constant fucking of them by grotesque demons and monsterously muscular beasts is exactly what every woman wants and yearns for after they grow out of the unicorn phase. The genie in Disney's Aladdin will attest to the fact that Ten Thousand years will give ya such a crick in the neck but it only took the Overfiend 3,000 years of slumber before his semen became caustic enough to spontaneously combust the naughty night shift nurse! Indeed many life lessons can be had by paying close careful attention to Urotsukidoji, firstly that if you ever get destroyed in a battle you can always fuck the life force away from your wifes nymphettes in hell with your double pronged snake penis and in doing so get yourself a real badass spider demon body. Secondly that ferris wheels is great places to fuck the shit out of womens, the heightness of it coupled with the circular motion really wets the panties like nothing else. Probably the best take home message of the entire series would be that if there is one thing closer than a boy and his dog in this life it is probably the Overfiend and his demon womb. Like the great Shiva-Destroyer of olde Hindy Lore the Overfiend is capable of great destruction yet not entirely without a heart for you see instead of destroying all of creation as originally intended, the Overfiend pulled a Grinch and what with his heart growing three whole sizes in one day decided to remake the world and stop blowing shit up with his multiple headed tree trunk dick that ejaculates fucking lazer beams. Fucking lazer beams from out his dickholes. PewPewPew! Fuck you Japan I love you so much. Probably it is pretty important to consider that Nazi's can summon devils too, I bet you anything they done pulled a King Solomon them Nazis and had the demons to building their ovens with what to roast the Jews in. Without a doubt Akemi Ito is the luckiest little whore in Tokyo and that Overfiend bakin away in her womb is proof of that. But don't take my word for it, just ask Levar Burton the next time you get a chance. (8,519)
OK, here we go, my soggy mopesters. In it to win it this time, so do your wurst! +10 oblivion points to anyone who correctly guesses th' inspiration for this one.
__
My feet are tired and my hands are sticky Don't think I'll ever make it home The name of forgiveness freezes in my throat So many nights with just the stars as my coat
Am I gone?
A wretched close to this benighted year I don't think I can do any more The soreness crawls like a spider up my back The remorse won't stop gnawing; don't think I'm intact
Am I gone?
Maybe they asked a favor And maybe I said "OK" And maybe now I'm feeling I'm in a place with no escape
This has been such a tough year This has been such a tough year [maybe you can't take any more] This has been such a tough year This has been such a tough year [you just can't take any more] This has been such a tough year [you just can't take any more] This has been such a tough year [you just can't take any more] This has been such a tough year I just can't take any more This has been such a tough year I just can't take any more This has been such a tough year I JUST CAN’T TAKE ANY MORE This has been such a tough year I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT
There's a thundering hailstorm in Phoenix today, sending drops of frozen hate clattering across the skylight and beating the life out of weak trees. On the outskirts of my peripheral vision, I caught a glimpse of something white and jagged -- the future.
Life as a human right now is akin to having woken up inside the chute of a woodchipper. We may not even recall how we got inside the woodchipper in the first place. The one thing that is clear : the inevitability of the blades.
A feeling like saws chewing into my neck. The sounds of weeping just outside my door. And a cold light knife into my pupil reminds me : This is a world divorced from hope.
When facing a suffocated reality of nonexistent future, what do you do? Here are some options :
1) Lie down and wait quietly for the ice weasels to come. 2) Cry until you're too tired to cry any longer, then die. 3) Fight until death. 4) Put on heavy metal records and rock out for as long as possible.
Now, I don't know which of these sounds most attractive, or which you, the reader, may already be doing. I choose option #4. Here's why :
* Metal music is brain floss. * Metal music improves blood flow to the face. * Metal music is not a norm. * Metal music has no sympathy for your suffering. * Metal music remembers when you were only an animal. * Metal music hasn't heard about your regrets, but it can drench them in molten @#$%^& * Metal music will survive long after the Universe is toast. * Metal music recognizes your true form and can restore it if lost. * Metal music connects you with that aspect of youself that you forgot about. * Metal music is truth erupting from a sea of lies.
There's no future. But with metal music, the present can be made to rock. In these bleak and doomed days, everybody looks for help. Some go to shrinks, some watch TV, and some try in futility to numb the pain with drugs. Well, you all are welcome to your 'cheese' heroin, 'lean,' and amphetamines. I'm an Earache man myself. (19,004)
They say we're done for Because of what's coming on the wind They're handing out death for free To anyone who asks for it
They say that their way Is rational and best And that we'd better hurry And eagerly fall to rest
But no matter if they're right or wrong, That's a deal I won't accept
Maybe the Lord will save us But probably not There's too much poison in the air
But even a last moment in anguish Is a moment that belongs to me And I won't let them put me down
We may hear our children Cry out in pain Yours may be the last remaining Human name
But that doesn't mean That I'll let them take the reins I'll stay here and and present with you While we wait for the final rain
Even all these aching thoughts They're thoughts that belong to me And I won't let them put me down
We always, always, always fought And I'll fight to the end I won't surrender my last hours On the advice of these wretches
Even at the end of hope for this life I still hold on to hope for pride And I won't let them put me down
I'm not saying that I'm OK with this being the total end I was one of those who dreamed of art's survival long after the Sun's death Now there's slight time left, and you're my ultimate friend
But that's the way of things - There are stones you can't roll back An even now I feel that weight So heavy on my neck
I won't trade time for comfort I won't give up this last thing I'm keeping every feeling that's Been allotted to me
When I feel the terrible change, That sensation belongs to me And I won't let them put me down (33,022)
Share
