Looking to raise some capital for your new online turnip twaddler portal enterprise? Noah Dyer from WealthNet Partners and Nicholas DiBiase from Hepnova lay down the rap about how branding, both business and personal, affects your chances with potential investors. Learn to avoid generic muddled garbage and imitating 'The DOC' when in crucial meetings! Don't make those "angel investors" bop you over the noggin with their harps.
Do:
Use plenty of lubrication, natural or synthetic. After all, a chafed organ wails like Billy Corgan.
Be mindful of involuntary body noises if male, if female... just giggle.
Burst into song if the mood strikes you, after all the opening chords of Deep Purple's classic 'Smoke on the Water' sound much better vocalized. Politely refrain from the Madonna however, as Cher is much more becoming.
Lock all kitties out of the room before and immediately after the act occurs.
Give the neighbors 24 hour notice. 48 hours is reccomended by Japanese scientists, however it has been brought to Miss Manners attention that the Japanese do not in fact possess souls and as such should not be heeded by anyone.
Remain in contact with all involved parties after said act has commenced.
If at all possible, hire an interlocutrix. Hire two.
Don't:
Interrupt the session on account of the balls touching, such accidents are natural and only on the third occasion should a meaningful and direct exchange of willfull glances occur between the involved parties.
Use your illusion. Under any circumstance.
Call for your mother.
Alert the proper authorities.
React in any way to any legal threats or cries of pain.
Feed the bears.
Let the neighbor kid watch.
Let the hand cramps interfere with the task at hand.
Exclaim, "Word." upon disengaging from an intercourse.
Let practical (i.e. popular) opinion discourage your latent discharge, let loose with the fury of 10,000 pert hemp plants.
Feed involved parties after midnight, be wary of clock-cord biting hijinx. Hoarde the fried chicken just in case.
Do the whole flowers routine, what are you? A queer?
Believe the hype. (57,596)
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