Latewire

Greenspan Roundhouse Kicks Current Fed in the Face

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:28:56 GMT

Critics in Congress, in academia and elsewhere worry that the Fed's unprecedented actions - including financial backing in March for JPMorgan Chase & Co.'s takeover of Bear Stearns Cos. - are putting taxpayers on the hook for billions of dollars of potential losses. They also say it encourages "moral hazard," that is, allowing financial companies to gamble more recklessly in the future.

Google is Rank

Wed, 03 Sep 2008 19:02:44 GMT

So, after 5 months of operation, we've finally made it to number 1 on google's search for the term "Latewire".. there's also an abandoned myspace page for the hip-hop group "LateWire" that's actually been rocking us for a while, but we've slowly been pounding their apathetic asses and have nearly booted them off the front page.

Ulysses had it right...

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 09:28:19 GMT

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

Good fucking God.

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 21:46:55 GMT

McCain selected Palin?

Week 4 at CERN

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 19:04:28 GMT

As of this week, CMS is officially closed off--everything's in place and the giant pit that was used to lower everything has been sealed. This week also marks sitting data-taking shifts, after getting back from Belgium with two cases of Westvleteren beer. These shifts are sat as the CMS magnet is tested at 1T, 2T and 3T. Mostly, it involves sitting there and watching as chambers/peripheral crates/other electronics go into error state, figuring out why, and trying simple diagnostic methods. If that doesn't work, we call the experts. If everything goes smoothly, we sit there and surf the web for 8 hours (although this has never happened...)

Vomit yourself.

Fri, 29 Aug 2008 07:25:17 GMT

I still expound the notion that we as a global collective of hairless apes should do away with the silly leap year nonsense and instead re-work the calendar to include one extra day per week henceforth referred as the non-denominational and completely mandatory day of rest. We wouldn't even need to ...

The reason I eat my own face at night.

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:06:05 GMT

We can all see from the examples set by Elliot Smith, Hunter S. Thompson and Ernest Hemmingway, that a man can choose to end his own life.

German Gymnastics Medalist Flosses Spandex SS Uniform

Thu, 21 Aug 2008 14:30:16 GMT

Guten tag! 'Tis the season for bad flashbacks of 20th century monstrosity. The Russkies are invading their neighbors, the Italians are systematically fingerprinting Gypsy children, and Nazi iconography is on display at the Olympics. Some folks say that the Olympic torch is a repugnant throwback to the 1936 Nazi-hosted Games, and maybe it is, but moreso is the crypto-SS leotard uniform sported by the German gymnast Fabian Hambuechen.

Priceline Ate Your Face

Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:15:40 GMT

I just booked a room at a Marriott in Silicon valley for $70/night by bidding on Priceline.com... Marriott.com sold the same room for $160.

Snake in the Canebrake 6 : Glass Harvest

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 22:47:23 GMT

When I was in 5th or 6th grade, I read one of those �young adult' sci-fi books about a colonial expedition from a dying Earth that landed on some alien planet after years of travel in suspended animation. There were vast fields of grain on the surface, but when the settlers tried to mill it, they f ...

Snake in the Canebrake 5 : The Stochastic Verses

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 18:43:00 GMT

When I was a teenager, my friends and I took to playing 'cee-lo' regularly, a dice game that was championed by a number of our favorite 'gangster rappers' including Warren G, the Geto Boys, and Ice Cube. The version that we learned and played almost daily was a simple one that was crisply devoid of strategy and whose outcome was dictated wholly by chance. This game has a Zen-like quality that can be addictive; once you get into it, it can claim substantial portions of a summer. I have unclouded memories of waiting until after sunset and meeting the guys over at Phil's house, crouching in the yellow light of the driveway to roll dice while the day's heat still radiated up from the blacktop.

Update on Dr. B_b

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 16:12:36 GMT

Four-grain poison-free organic bread recipe

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 21:38:35 GMT

Four-Grain Pesticide-Free Bread :

Snake in the Canebrake 4 : Baby Snakes

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 01:44:26 GMT

I found out later when I sat on the couch with my sandwich and turned on the evening minddrain what the cop that had bypassed me had been in such a hurry to get to. Some guy whose house was about five blocks down from mine had posted bail after getting nabbed on a big-time white collar rap, gone home, and shot his whole family to death before committing self-murder.

Shepherding wayward aborted epiphanies.

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 23:18:28 GMT

Snorlax is certainly my inner Pokemon.

Fuck you FLICKR, never will I sign up!

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:26:38 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/2741954541_cdab1d5b54.jpg

RockNRoll Angel Absolutegotised my Sunn O))) amp...

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 16:24:08 GMT

now my only Muziq-al Nirvana on this Earth involves writing about the aqueous stuff whilst riding through the Gloom atop my Distorted Pony.

Guest post by Miss Manners: DP etiquette

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 11:36:10 GMT

Do:

Burroughs, William S. (1914-1997) R.I.P.

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 05:43:46 GMT

11 years gone...

Snake in the Cankebrake 3 : A Slippery Slope to Nothing

Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:52:48 GMT

When I got back from the Iowa thing, I was hungry as a woodpecker in a stone quarry. Naturally, I was greeted by a dead scorpion in my foyer and a fridge that was home only to half-empty sixer of Beck's and a bag of soggy jalapenos. I had a $7 bag of rice on the counter that I'd forgotten to put in the canister before I left, and when I picked it up, I could see the dang grain beetles that had hatched in there squirm deeper in to avoid detection. Classic. I lit a fire in the galvanized trash can out back and tossed the buggers in with the bag. Those little demons are persistent like the dickens once they get in your house.

Snake in the Canebrake 2 : Worst Practices

Fri, 25 Jul 2008 15:51:19 GMT

As it happened, I was driving through the Midwest to meet up with some folks in the industry who wanted to talk about the feasibility of setting up a leading-edge wafer fab in southern Iowa around or about the year 2013. It was generally felt that the rising costs of shipping and travel combined with tighter oversight by foreign governments as their currency strengthens relative to the dollar and the declining price of domestic labor meant that the smart money was on forgetting about the shift to global sourcing and sticking with primarily domestic wafer production.

Nuclear Spastic Tastic Fun in the Abominal Sanctum

Thu, 24 Jul 2008 18:31:25 GMT

Prior to the attunement of other convictions, the Grand Caesar is expected to release his statement on the current situation in the borderlands on the Martian surface.

Snake in the Canebrake

Tue, 22 Jul 2008 01:26:55 GMT

Sometimes I start thinking that it'd be a good idea to run away from the nutty urban habitat and seek comfort in the quiet of the bucolic countryside or bare desert. These thoughts are quickly extinguished, however, by my crippling fear of horses, foliage, and marauding psychopathic killers.

New Western tunes vol 2

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:38:16 GMT

We've come a long way, we're far from home

Piss up the wrong fucking end of a fucking rope motherfucker

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 00:59:12 GMT

I'm sick and fucking tired of being sick and tired of not having anything to bitch about. Everywhere I look, on and offline (but especially on) it's nothing but "Fuck this!" and "Fuck that!" and of course the occasional, "FUCK ME!"

Apple Secretly Run by Mentally Retarded Dolphins

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 19:59:01 GMT

It's July 11, 2008, and you know what that means: It's the launch of the first major revision to the iPhone since it came out a year ago.

Checkmate

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 14:26:33 GMT

Oh, witness the end.

A new economic plan.

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 10:26:18 GMT

Under the current administration it often feels like there is no economical plan suited for this country that can stimulate acceptable results. I offer a contingency plan that, if approved, can lead to those a satisfactory results when applied. In the event when items are obtained through means of currency a buyer in this country has rights, as does the seller. By removing such rights of ownership of property by means of force one can achieve the perceived owner of the material of the time. In other words �I steal yo shit, cuz I haz a gun bitch!�

Emolution : The evolution of emo sartorial characteristics 1

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:16:19 GMT

Tell you what : if there was one 80s/90s youth trend that I didn't think would still be hanging around at the end of the 21st century's inaugural decade, it was emo. When the first subculture began to spread widely in the aftermath of blockbuster albums by Fugazi and then Weezer, most of us in the popwatching vulture community assumed that this soggy genre leftover from the 80s would mold quickly in th' fickle fridge of fads and be unceremoniously tossed out.

You Got Screwed by Youtube

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 00:18:32 GMT

Every video you have ever watched on youtube is logged. These logs are now in the hands of Viacom.

10 second review of the iPod Touch

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 02:58:14 GMT

I recently got an iPod "Touch" for free.

Re: Creapers

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 06:57:20 GMT

I don't know which is potentially more arousing, the thought of disgusting and drooling beta-amyloid ridden bald men banging the everloving shit out of nubile young nymphettes or knowing that I'm not the only one who has a cornucopia of boogly-eyed anime porn stashed into every nook, cranny, crevice, battery compartment and cubbyhole I can find. I am the human equivalent of a squirrel in some respects, although you won't catch me dead working for that scumfuck Willy Wonka... rumor has it the Oompa Loompa's ferment hot chocolate into potent inebriating substances and proceed to get shithoused and sodomize everything in the factory, including each other. They even wrote a song about it those orange-skinned jungle jumping jiminy jack dandy's!

Creapin on the Come-Up

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:50:12 GMT

When I was in high school, there were these things called "Crushes". As we all know, a "crush" is a strong attraction to a person that you usually have to suppress because they're dating someone else or they think you're a serial killer or some other logistical quandary.

Waking Nightmares 2

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:20:36 GMT

As a straw boss on the production floor, I field a lot of questions from people who are either interested to know about the dynamics of personnel management or eager to gather laughable information from me a la "The Dinner Game."

Carlin

Wed, 25 Jun 2008 18:09:29 GMT

RIP Carlin

Aspect of a snake

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:26:48 GMT

Aspect of a snake

Waking Nightmares / Surreality Check

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:49:55 GMT

Sometimes when I'm dealing with reality, the true monstrosity of human faces appears with such clarity that I have a hard time dealing with the fact that when I go home to brush my teeth, I'm going to confront another terrifying face and that that face is going to be attached to my own head.

Piclens

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 18:47:56 GMT

We now have piclens support for the mirrored images on this web page.

Power metal is spiritual

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 15:53:24 GMT

Here's th' text of th' best spiritual written since 1950, Larry Sparks' "The Testing Times." To my knowledge and surprise, this has never been transcribed. Note that most of this could equally be an Iron Maiden lyric.

We just want to be more. And then some.

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 19:02:49 GMT

We can't help it. We are addicted to that special VIP lifestyle. It's true. What's so wrong with that you ask?

Break time

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 23:12:22 GMT

I'm taking a break -- again -- at my job here, trying to fend off another "Pi" headache and chewing a wad of aspartame-laced cud.

dunn

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:07:49 GMT

...

So...

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 05:15:22 GMT

If I read a few more Philip K. Dick books as I've intented to do so for quite some time now... will I run the risk of being called a Philip K. Dickhead? Or will I just end up wasting my time; as The Man in The High Castle, supposedly one of his best, didn't really do much for me. ...

Dell = auuugh

Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:43:15 GMT

Latewhore alert : Dell's support forums are down and have been for at least 14 hours. Either Somebody did the right thing and torpedoed the hideous beastly hardware-shilling slimebucket that is Dell, or this is yet another salvo in Dell's ongoing campaign to drive all tightwad IT folks to suicide s ...

I Hate Apple Fanbois (10.6 is Lame)

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 22:55:43 GMT

So Apple announced more details today about its upcoming OS, version 10.6. Versions 2, 3, 4, and 5 have all been $130 for new or current users (no discount for upgrades).

Linux

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:03:49 GMT

Hank: I'm totally unable to install this critical software from a linux tarball here

Sneak

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 16:36:38 GMT

Sneak preview of th' Latewire theme song (no really) :

Tools

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 23:25:37 GMT

I just found out that Tool did a cover of No Quarter by Zeppelin.

SPAM

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 03:40:35 GMT

She sucks my kangaroo pounder like a honey laced sweet. ...

TRUTH

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:22:17 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/whoever.GIF ...

Goth Contest Entry #3

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:19:20 GMT

with drool-slathered chops, the jocks berate

Goth Contest Entry #2

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 05:18:54 GMT

the darkness echoes the homes of my soul

Sleep beneath the frost

Sat, 31 May 2008 20:15:01 GMT

Goth Contest Entry #1

Today In The News

Thu, 29 May 2008 16:11:28 GMT

Glue phone

Thu, 29 May 2008 03:54:58 GMT

I think there's a pretty strong amount of evidence to support the hypothesis that Roy Orbison was a ghost even before he died.

Snakewire

Wed, 28 May 2008 13:40:59 GMT

There's a hideous bat a-lurking

Yumping on th' lazy image-post bandwagon

Tue, 27 May 2008 14:02:33 GMT

Exemplifying dork cool, 1992.http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/./britishimagen1.jpg ...

Facebook

Sun, 25 May 2008 04:16:03 GMT

I think there should be a limit to how many applications you can have on your facebook profile.

My Girl

Sat, 24 May 2008 06:10:21 GMT

LATEWIRE approved

Fri, 23 May 2008 23:53:14 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/1210238770083.jpg ...

What the deef

Fri, 23 May 2008 07:19:57 GMT

It's more or less too late to try and even think.

Go Nagai

Thu, 22 May 2008 11:53:11 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/074.png ...

Plr0n home

Tue, 20 May 2008 15:30:52 GMT

Topic stoled from Slashdot :

I Love Spam

Tue, 20 May 2008 07:07:31 GMT

Bomb her womb from your huge cannon!

ride the latewire

Mon, 19 May 2008 15:27:24 GMT

For those who may have missed the earlier wires on this subject :

November Morning

Fri, 16 May 2008 19:37:24 GMT

I can hear th' beetles rustling in th' leaves under there

baberaham lincoln

Thu, 15 May 2008 23:16:23 GMT

It's time for me to come clean. I'm a guitar player. I'm also a Mac user. Based on these factors, you'd think that my cerebrum would have about 16 neural pathways and that I should probably be crawling around on my belly looking for insects to munch on. However, G_d cruelly saw fit to endow me with the ability to type, so you'll be subjected to a continued flow of verbal drool. Let's start, 'Boondock Saints'-style, with a joke.

Don't get to close to my fantasy...

Thu, 15 May 2008 02:32:14 GMT

I live for it.

My Pick for Election '08

Thu, 08 May 2008 15:14:17 GMT

After a great deal of soul searching, I have decided on a candidate whom I will support in the 2008 presidential election:

Corporate poetry

Wed, 07 May 2008 21:26:10 GMT

I am currently waiting on an approval. You will here from me shortly. Thank you.

The Grief Brothers (USA) : Unearthing Alco-Folk Pioneers

Mon, 05 May 2008 19:15:44 GMT

There are two groups that have gone by the name of "The Grief Brothers." One is a bunch of old geezers from Wales who play "[their] own brand of country and rock." The other, the real, Grief Brothers were lightning rod interpreters of the American songbook and our best alco-folk duo. This is about the real Grief Brothers, whose demise in 2007 left a smoldering crater in the roots music scene.

RSS

Sun, 04 May 2008 16:23:04 GMT

Testing out the RSS feed here

ashley woods Popbot

Sat, 03 May 2008 07:44:49 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/popbot1.gif ...

REJECTED

Fri, 02 May 2008 23:19:11 GMT

Chinese Build Biggest Building, Press Still Hates China

Thu, 01 May 2008 22:43:08 GMT

China has completed it's project to build the world's biggest building as part of the Beijing airport.

Latewire on yahoo

Thu, 01 May 2008 05:47:06 GMT

...

In this latest of late wires...

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 05:48:51 GMT

Marc Bolan posthumuosly sends shivers down through your perineum. ...

Please excuse the silence ...

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 01:22:34 GMT

I know it's probably a 'shop...

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 22:35:05 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/080423_002.jpg

Happenings of unnatural fornication in areas of forestation.

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 07:11:13 GMT

Beware! If wary ye be.

Coming soon...

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 18:52:04 GMT

To a latewire near you: a tender and heartworming story of unnatural relations!

Down With 4:20

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 20:27:39 GMT

There is one culture that really bothers me, and that is 'stoner' culture. I have no gripe with Marijuana itself, but to consciously revel in the use of 'herb' I find stupid. Most alcoholics don't try to glamorize their culture and life, nor should you.

A conception from unnatural relations.

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 07:45:49 GMT

Jar Baby

Singin' lullubies that don't rhyme, about a bloody red moon.

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 07:06:16 GMT

If by some miraculous stroke of fate I were to find myself the sperm repository responsible for infecting some poor woman's uterati with my demon-seed, chances are I would get down on my knees and beg for that baby. After all nothing goes better with a bottle of cheap rum than a giggly fat baby. Cha ...

Toe

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:59:20 GMT

My favorite:

I'll bring the rum, we'll just use blood for lube.

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:26:22 GMT

Got

46 & ***

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:51:13 GMT

I never understood that song (By Tool).. shouldn't it be 44 + 2?

Th' mother; th' father, th' serpent; th' priest

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:15:51 GMT

Who's th' boom king?

The powers of 6

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:07:39 GMT

Six. Is the number. Cloning, a sign of the apocalypse? The number six? Another sign. I don't believe religion or it's institutions that it resides in. But we do make our own symbols and perhaps with these symbols a destiny. Evolution? Perhaps.

Innocent Magic:Stronger Than Evil

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 06:36:10 GMT

On the creation and casting of sigils:

A geek's birthday wish.

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 05:06:12 GMT

It has become apparent that certain entities in the corporate world of the gaming industry have turned hostile. I'm a big anti-EA nut as an industry enthusiast and a passionate gamer. Indulging on the ideal that great games come from great people with minds who think alike, I think this a very bad thing. EA Games produces Wal-mart Quality games, in which they focus on maximizing profits (which is something hot in the corporate world these days) then spending their time and resources on making quality games with replay value. Not to mention the lawsuits in the past filed by overworked developers and artists alike.

Wiggle room

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 04:53:30 GMT

So I'm supposed to revise and resize this print ad for some high-stakes deal tonight. Thank goodness for OSX's 'spotlight' feature. Without it, it might have taken me several minutes to find out that I don't have any of th' original files.

Josh, Stop Fucking Around and Write the Damn Letters

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:47:08 GMT

Once again, it's another Night Before The Big Test and I'm reading about strange and random historical trivia on wikipedia. Though questionable in its accuracy, wiki's addition of phrase "lemming-faced capitalist" to each of their articles on mid-1500's Polish war weaponry sure makes the Tetris-esque game of history a lot simpler.

entanglement part 88

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:04:16 GMT

your mom effs with causality ...

We rock knots and got props like Norm Peterson

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 02:56:38 GMT

Well, sounds like you might want to email 'Dr LSD' about th' scoop on "cross-temporal entanglement," but your cell phone speculation is pretty far off base, even from a sci-fi perspective. Entanglement doesn't, and can't, transmit information. If it did, it'd violate th' whole nothing-goes-faster-than-light thing and seriously eff with causality.

Now wait

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 00:00:50 GMT

Now wait just a second. I never said quantum mechanics was wrong, I just said the parts that haven't been experimentally verified may as well be out of a book written by Cliff Clavin from Cheers.

And now for something completely...

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:19:08 GMT

Booooob

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 21:41:43 GMT

Bob, I'm not convinced of "Dr LSD's" credibility, but you really ought to wake up and realize that quantum mechanics has been accepted by experimental physics as the factual description of reality's behavior since long before you were born. Not only that, but quantum entanglement was experimentally demonstrated decades ago, most famously by th' only cool Frenchman, Alain Aspect.

What?

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 19:42:42 GMT

Entanglement can work any way I G_d damn well says it do.

Exclusive interview with Dr. LSD, part 3

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:33:19 GMT

By Hannibal Goodfellow 03-15-2008

conceptual entanglement

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 16:28:40 GMT

That image is disturbing, and so is th' depth of your grasp of physics. I wonder how th' DJs of th' future can function if there are no drugs? ...

Note

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 13:51:27 GMT

Entanglement? ENTANGLEMENT?! But...

Your black doctor

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:08:35 GMT

Pretty neat indeed. I haven't heard his music, but Goodfellow subscribes, and says it's pretty good meandering space-techno-y stuff with guitar melodies.

Re: Dr.LSD

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:04:46 GMT

That Doctor LSD sounds like a cool guy, like John Titor, only on drugs instead of on crazy*.

Exclusive interview with Dr. LSD, part 2

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 21:45:42 GMT

Interview with 'Dr LSD' by Hannibal Goodfellow, 03*15*2008

Exclusive Interview with Dr. LSD, part 1

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 07:12:05 GMT

by Hannibal Goodfellow

Cars

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:24:24 GMT

Jon: dammit, audi kid hit me up and got me thinking about it again.

Ouwagh

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 17:52:43 GMT

Sometimes when I am smoking my morning cigarette, I look at all the cars passing by and I think to myself, "Why are all these people in such a hurry?" And then I remember why I woke up. And I say to myself, "fuck." And again I say, fuck. ...

Neurology

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:35:04 GMT

So I'm studying neurology right now.. well I guess technically I'm taking a break from that to write about studying, which may be even less entertaining.

Dr LSD

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 22:05:23 GMT

Perception-altering experiences are a strange thing. Some people pay large sums of money for drugs to change th' way they experience reality. Others steal the drugs. There's even a group of people who claim to be able to voluntarily invoke perceptual distortion through means such as yoga, breathing techniques, and ingesting large quantities of Ho-Hos.

ad hominem

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:09:29 GMT

As th' astute reader will detect, our latest fellow fugitive from reality, 1m1w, provides an all-important dissenting perspective on caffeine delivery methods. Stay tuned for a steady stream of spine-chilling acid reportage from Mr. 1w. ...

Latest Wire

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 06:35:26 GMT

As the newest contributing member to the Latewire deconstruction crew, I would like to take a moment to introduce my contrived internet persona:

Toats

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:56:02 GMT

http://tsarnicholas.com/?s=downloads

melp me melp you

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 19:19:58 GMT

Seconded. My lengthy spell of good heath has been abruptly arrested by th' onset of a brutish and painful cold wherein my skin feels like it's being attacked by those things from 'Hellraiser.'

fuck.

Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:04:51 GMT

No new Berserk untill after May 23rd.

alder... maple... elm...

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 13:25:14 GMT

Magnificent.

Technical Update: I'm a genyuss

Fri, 11 Apr 2008 03:17:06 GMT

I'm just going to brag here and point out that I've added a rather infallible bot-catch system into the registration script.

And come Nov. 5th...

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 04:10:16 GMT

there will be more than enough rat poison for us all. ...

Bring Greenspan Back

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 02:29:46 GMT

Presidential candidatin' time once again, and for some people, it's time to ignore what actually matters and pick the dumbest issue possible to vote on.

Colony Collapse Disaster

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:56:51 GMT

Th' bees. Th' G_d-damned bees. They die in such great numbers, each individual shrieking bee-soul becoming kindling for my agony.

Flight of the Plr0ndor

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:13:46 GMT

Not really sure what to write, I'll attempt to construct a post inspired by rorschach responses to silhouettes of my redneck neighbors through my window. Naturally, they just woke up (it's 2:30PM on a Monday) and are unloading an biggie-sized Uhaul they illegally parked last night, blocking the street so much I had to drive on the sidewalk to get to school this morning.

why do I-hi?

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:35:26 GMT

So th' evil monopoly Adobe Systems has de(i)cided not to release a 64-bit Mac OS version of its unavoidable Creative Suite software until two revisions (probably like 4 years) from now. This is wack.

Witch dooyoo like?

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 00:17:46 GMT

So I'm getting in th' mood to replace every instance of th' word "which" with th' word "witch." This is primarily because I took a look at Amy Sedaris' "I Like You" this morning and was reminded that my favorite word of last year was "Witchy-poo." Turns out that that was th' name of an H R Pufnstuf character, but so what. It's hilarious. Therefore, old school witches are cool. It's important to distinguish cool old-school witches (pointy hats, etc) from boring loser 'modern' witches that don't wear pointy hats and ride broomsticks (e.g., WINC).

Land of Learning

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:54:35 GMT

Universities are th' abattoirs of th' soul.

This is the image...

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 20:31:28 GMT

that penetrates my mind when I leave the dominion of slumber and realize that I must spend an entire day at the University:

October Hill

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 17:46:05 GMT

Let's visit th' orchard on October Hill

Total Access

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:20:39 GMT

HTaccess was created in 1942 by Wehrner von Braun as a way to 'solve th' Web programmer problem,' an obstacle that had frustrated his bosses for months as other 'problems' were being handily dealt with through mechanical means. Von Braun found that while Web programmers were difficult to target with V2s (as their physical location is hard to pinpoint when they only move once every several weeks) and resistant to poison gas due to their habitual voluntary intake of toxins, they could easily be driven to self-extermination with this relatively simple introduction of frustration to Web process. For his discovery and implementation of this elegant and deadly solution, von Braun was awarded th' Iron Cross.

Technical update: Fucking Google

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:19:11 GMT

If google ever gets around to indexing the site again, our rank's gonna go ape shit. After that it'll index much more often.

HT access

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:11:00 GMT

HTaccess is a dirty, dirty slut.

Soylent Black

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 14:18:25 GMT

11/10 for that whole exchange

HESTON DIED

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:52:09 GMT

Bob: HESTON DIED

Shit.

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:02:19 GMT

Damn. I already went with A, but B is so much better

2 Solutions

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:11:29 GMT

A) Eat your babies before the old people eat them.

No Country For Old People

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 17:22:23 GMT

I've wanted to rant about Social Security for a long time, so I'm just going to get right into it. Here's a couple of things you believe:

cat foot

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:06:21 GMT

I thought it was a new coffee infusion drink from Starbucks ...

Re: Dorsi

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:03:15 GMT

Well Dorsi means cat, so that'd be the left foot. ...

Mr. Lebowski is disabled, yes

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:02:25 GMT

Classic. Now, if you could just remember where th' latissimus dorsi is... ...

Week-Long Brain Fart

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 16:00:05 GMT

I think I've figured out why I'm having such a swell week.

Cake City

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:25:10 GMT

"Cake City" is a real geographical region -- it's th' current demotic terminology for th' greater Phoenix area (especially Scottsdale). Th' reason for this is that the Phoenix area has no substantial indigenous culture apart from raw plastic capitalism. This is due largely to th' fact that most Cake City residents aren't from Cake City originally, but instead moved here to take advantage of th' mega economic opportunities afforded by fantastic weather and (formerly) cheap space. It's fair to say that getting paid is th' #1 hobby here. Th' most commonly-heard Cake City motto is 'We never sleep.' This is because we spend so much time caking up.

unh

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:02:10 GMT

Bob: reality = hoozehammer

Snake vs Snale

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 20:22:45 GMT

I'm a snake

Re: Burns

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 19:02:21 GMT

That was just uncalled for. ...

Charles Burns' Black Hole

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:52:37 GMT

http://www.cyborgcow.net/gallery/albums/userpics/10013/blackhole.gif ...

wilt

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:15:43 GMT

A day like this one can really just suck th' will to live right out of you. Th' verve bestowed by my regular huge flagon of coffee was siphoned away by terrible negation of effort. I plan to sue G_d, and I think I have a lot stronger case that that whiny landlord Job did. ...

With all the nothingness of a black hole-womb.

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 07:30:50 GMT

Gooooooodniiiiiiiight Neverland! ...

L8wire

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 05:24:02 GMT

Nick: OK new post up

Inchcape vs Housing

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 04:56:49 GMT

Re-posted from plr0n.com

latewaar

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 02:29:30 GMT

th' materials I've collected have a heavy liberty-oriented bent

gett off

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 02:11:47 GMT

This indentured servitude ish has me furious

hadron too many

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:55:31 GMT

From Netmaster 10base-T :

ahab, can I cop my doobage

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:26:54 GMT

OK, that's th' best Web comic I've ever seen. Someone deserves a free t-shirt. ...

The White Whale

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 01:24:47 GMT

http://latewire.com/images/fekken_random/whitewhale.png ...

13

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 00:07:46 GMT

Never had me a name; they just gave me th' number when I was young. ...

Thirteen Cannot Be Divided

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:53:02 GMT

Scream like dust on the winds of time

loc'd After Dark 4.0

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 23:12:02 GMT

Real name of th' week : Cyd Love

snakehat

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:17:47 GMT

The fact is that even the most judicious decisions aren't guaranteed to avert disaster. Reality is disintegrating at a sneaky pace. Even among the most unhinged survivalists and rapture-awaiting time-biders, there is not one who really knows what they're going to do when confronted with the true postmodern era. It's the case that modernism is characterized by an overwhelming focus on efficiency that is enabled by and rooted in technology, virtually unlimited low-cost access to raw materials and information, and economies of scale. With efficiency comes profit, streamlining and convenience. These values feed into an aesthetic that encapsulates everything cool.

Re: Cactus Vs Banjo Player

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 18:11:51 GMT

>If you're lost in the desert, and you come upon a talking cactus and a good banjo player who each tell you a different way of escape, which should you listen to?

inchc8pe part 2

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 15:39:16 GMT

XKCD is only funny if you're a physics buff that's into their science jokes. Th' broader humor is usually pretty square.

XKCD

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 13:43:18 GMT

XKCD has been sucking lately. I can't remember if it was ever all that funny, now that I think about it.

snack

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:56:14 GMT

What th' zzzzzzzzzzzz hoyo

get out

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:42:25 GMT

I'm getting out of here and going to live in a yurt in th' desert ...

Thunderfoot

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:17:31 GMT

No Clue.

inchc8pe

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:47:00 GMT

I really enjoy drinking alcohol. Anyone who knows me will tell you that. I'm inclined to agree with Ben Franklin, who said something to the effect that its existence is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Human-Cow Hybrid Survives Three Days

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 19:43:17 GMT

I'm reading the news again. Stupid, I know. Apparently, they've crossed human with cow DNA in an effort to synthetically produce a Michael Moore doppelg�nger. The cute little critter (still an embryo) only lasted three days before giving into the will of G_d and kicking it.

frake

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 17:30:04 GMT

So I carry this briefcase around. It's th' smallest one I could find, fits th' Wackbook perfectly. In it goes th' Snackbook, th' AC adapter and backup hard drive, and my padfolio. Th' padfolio has 2 pads of paper, manila folders for various clients, and a bunch of loose ish. Th' padfolio weighs more than th' computer. Shouldn't th' computer obviate th' need for a padfolio? Clearly, there is more work to be done in th' arena of computer ergonomics.

l8whyre

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 16:02:19 GMT

There's a noise in th' background -- sounds like a drill or something. Now a hiss. What kind of digital fossils will you leave? Thinking about food now. Not unusual. There was a big New Yorker article a year or so back about folks who are really into documenting every aspect of their lives -- everything -- and these guys are known as "lifeloggers." Seems like too much data to be really meaningful. At least th' act of writing forces the processing of the raw information at some level. Mup mup mups

latewear

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 05:41:35 GMT

It's time to put some thought in about the kinds of things that get written on latewire. Rants, screeds, updates, streams of caffeinated consciousness, lists. Here's a list :

avoid th' ambush of sleep

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 01:29:27 GMT

latewire latewire latewire

First Post

Sat, 21 Oct 2000 00:01:00 GMT

Welcome to latewire. I'm Bob and I'll be your operator.